2nd Draft - COMPLETE!

I finished up the 2nd draft of Violet's Monster: Volume I last Friday at lunchtime. I printed it and handed off the 66 page manuscript to Mr. Wenger and then passed my copy off to a friend. We'll see what they have to say!

I am afraid I might have some drama coming my way - my family bugged me until I sent them a copy.

I don't think they're going to like it.

1. They don't do fantasy/sci-fi/urban fantasy/horror.

2. They will have a problem with the 2nd book due to situations arising in the 1st book.

3. They probably won't let my siblings read it b/c of certain characteristics of my writing: violence, dark subject matter, "questionable" morals and lack of Christ-centered plot.

I'm a Christian. I write. My beliefs DO show through my writing. Just...not in characters who are Christians, necessarily. I think the world can see what I believe without me pounding it into their heads with a plot hammer.

So...I'm really nervous. But you know what? I'm learning to speak my mind. Whether anybody's listening or not. I have things to say, and I'm going to say them.

Here comes the more outspoken me. Attempting to speak in love, but acknowledging that perhaps we all could use our brains a little more instead of repeating drivel that was pounded into our heads since preschool.

/end of whatever-this-is.

Violet's Monster: Volume I Update

I keep changing the last few words of the title because I can't get it to sound right, but I think I might have solved the problem...we'll see.

Violet's Monster: Book I sounds better than Violet's Monster: the First Book, but Violet's Monster: Volume I sounds the best. Unless I can come up with a really cool subtitle...it also allows me to make fun of myself - there's a scene in The Importance of Being Earnest where it talks about three volume novels...;)

Anyway, I have made a lot of progress in the last few days and I am much happier with this draft than the last one. I've written out one or two of my very favorite scenes [which I may post here, if you'd like], and I'm about to start writing another favorite part of the story.

I think by the time I get to the 8th or 9th draft, it is going to be a very different book than what I had originally intended, but it might actually work better. It's a lot darker than I wanted [most of my writing is dark, so I guess I'm the one-style kind of author, which works fine for me], but there are some funny things in there [at least, I think they're funny]. So I'm looking forward to sending it out and seeing what people think.

And now, to end this post: [which is really just me gearing up to start writing]

The opening paragraph to Chapter 1: Meet Violet

Violet walked home from school in the rain, her black and white striped umbrella bobbing along in time with her feet, which were encased in her very favorite pair of red Mary Janes. Violet’s art portfolio was under her arm, and Violet was wishing that all of school could be like art class.

From Chapter 4: Where is Max?

Violet opened the door to her room and immediately felt something was off. She looked under the bed and in the closet, her suspicions confirmed. Max was gone.
Violet wondered where he could be, and then wondered if perhaps his family had come and taken him back to their world. It only took a moment for her to make a decision. She grabbed a pen and notebook, a camera, a paper opener that resembled a dagger, and an apple from her snack basket. She stuffed all of these into her book bag and turned to face the closet. “I’m coming to get you, Max.”
Violet marched into the closet, only to bump her nose on the wall. “Ouch!” She considered the wall and tried again. “Open, Sesame?” No dice. She crossed her arms and looked around the room, wondering how they could have taken Max. Her eyes fell on the bed and an idea popped into her brain.
Violet hitched the book bag over her shoulder and got down on her hands and knees. She squeezed under the bed and held on to her bag, waiting. For a moment, she thought she had failed once again. Then, the floor swallowed her up and she was spinning through space.


That's all I've got for now.

Revisions, Away!

Post-Productive

Last week was my "creative" week [no need to inquire further] and I spent lots of time knitting away at three potholders [red, green, and white for Stu's mom], a scarf [not enough yarn, I have to rip it out and make a purse], and a clutch [black with rainbow trim], while also working on my Secrets Journal and Violet's Monster: The First Book revisions.

Whew.

Revisions are...going. I'm on page 36 of a second draft and I have to say I like this version a lot better, even if I know what parts I'm going to have to expand in later revisions. I've got notes on what I need to know, what I need to put in, and stuff I want to put in, so hopefully, I will have a decent-sized manuscript by Friday. I've got several hours to type today and possibly bits and pieces throughout the day tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday while I'm at work. I'm wondering if I'll have to end up writing most nights as well.

This is like pulling teeth. Sometimes the words just flow and I go along alright for a few pages and then I get distracted or I think, "This isn't working," or I go up to check something and end up re-reading a different section and adding in a few more sentences. Agh!

But hopefully it will get done [if I would quit blogging it might] and I will have a nice set of notes awaiting me after the New Year.

Cheers!

My Own Post Secret Book

Creating this collage journal has been...incredible. Finding pictures to go with my thoughts, realizing things about myself both good and bad, and putting them into words, capturing them forever...there is something breath-taking [sigh of relief?] in releasing these thoughts that have been captive for so long.

I encourage you to try it. Take a plain old notebook [or get the recyclable brown one from Wal-Mart] and just...sit. Sit down, write out whatever you're holding in, and put it in there. Put in pictures, stickers, things torn from magazines...at the end, you'll see what a beautiful, sad, funny thing life is and you'll have something you can look back through and remember with.

I'm keeping mine in plain sight. One of my secrets explains why. You can read about it if you want.

This is a tradition I'm going to keep.

Capture a Bit of Beauty in My Secrets

A few months ago I was watching some of the students here [not creepily] and I saw someone's creative journal - it was a plain enough notebook, but as she pulled it out, I could see that she had collaged and scribbled and drawn throughout the inside. It was so beautiful it almost made me gasp and I determined right then and there to capture some beauty of my own.

I purchased a recycled-paper journal yesterday at Wal-mart for $7.97. It is plain, brown hardback with brown pages, beautiful in its simplicity. I have yet to decide whether to decorate the outside or not.

I also remembered this morning that some people on Post Secret, instead of sending their secrets in, journal them by making postcards and placing them in their journals. This too is a beautiful thought. I'm going to combine the two.

I'm already planning on placing some of my favorite Psalms between the pages, and today I wrote the first thing that will go in my journal. I simply wrote one line on a white piece of paper and spent a few minutes decorating it with the highlighters in my drawer. I surprised myself by using a pen and pencil in order to make something else apparent - I used pen for the permanent part of my statement and pencil for the part that is temporary. I have to admit...I am pleased with myself for thinking of this. :P

I intend to journal quite often this way.

I have often tried to keep a journal but the routine of sitting down and writing in a few small pages is not a habit I am good with keeping. So maybe this way, I can journal whenever the mood strikes, and it will help me process. Win!

The Dreams Continue

Last night I had a bowl and a mugful [don't ask] of my homemade chicken noodle soup...while lacking in carrots [or "feet-ass" as Stu so colorfully phrases it], it tastes alright...it's simple and is done in 30 minutes, just boil the chicken/chop it up while waiting on the noodles, plop them in the broth and heat it up while adding in pepper, parsley, salt, & onion powder. Tasty...except I always want a grilled cheese sandwich with it.

I dreamed last night about playing harp and then it turned into something else...it was much more epic and quite lengthy but I had to do a lot this morning and promptly forgot. Anyway...that's another food to add to your list of "good for dreams eating."

Today I decided I was going to write more of Violet's Monster [beginning book II] and opened a blank word document to find...that I didn't want to write after all. The muse is gone, at least for the moment, and I've been procrastinating all day. :P Sigh. I do have about 3 weeks to revise/edit the first one so I can hand it in to my English prof...I mean, NaNo helped me write it but I do have a due date. So it looks like I need to spend about $3.50 and print out a copy. I'm getting more excited about it and I know when it's all printed out I will spend some time reading through it...at least ten minutes. XD

Anyway, what was I saying? I had something specific in mind when I opened up this post...ah, well...it's an update, right?

SEVEN CHRISTMAS MOVIES I MUST WATCH THIS [AND EVERY} YEAR:

1. The Muppets' Christmas Carol - arguably the best version. And my favorite Christmas movie...ever. Followed closely by:

2. The Grinch [the cartoon] - Not the one where it's just the book illustrations, but the actual green Grinch. Not the live-action one either, although baby Grinch is absolutely adorable.

3. Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!/Charlie Brown Christmas - I love Linus in this one. I can also play the "Linus and Lucy" song on the piano.

4. While You Were Sleeping - hold on, hold on, it DOES take place at Christmas, and my brother and I had a tradition of watching it every year around this time. What's NOT to love about a Sandra Bullock/Bill Pullman movie?!

5. Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer - The clay-mation movies are throwbacks to my childhood. I love this version of the story and I'm fascinated with this type of animation.

6. A Christmas Story - I know, I know, everybody [or it seems like everybody] hates it and does not understand why it's funny, but...I have a soft spot for it.

7. Elf - Stu's favorite Christmas movie and also one of mine...Will Farrell is terrific, and so is Zooey Deschanel. Their duet and Buddy the Elf's one-liners are my favorite things about this movie.

Runners-Up:

It's a Wonderful Life - only because I really like "You Can't Take it With You" more.

Christmas Vacation - funny, but...still, it's Chevy Chase.

Shrek the Halls: Shrek's Christmas Special - just caught part of this last night. So ridiculously Shrek that I loved it. I <3 Fiona as an ogre. And Shrek is awesome. But I didn't see all of it so...can't go on my tops list until I do!

What are your favorite Christmas movies?

No More Waffles, Please!

Being a perfectly bad example last night, I goaded Stu into taking a late-night drive to Waffle House to "split a waffle". I ended up eating a whole one, and on the way home I wondered how this would affect my dream cycle.

Apparently, waffles are good-for-nothings when it comes to dreams. Nada. So don't eat waffles dripping with excess maple syrup expecting sweet dreams. It's just going to be disappointing.

I'm now tempted to make delicious banana pancakes to see if they have the opposite effect of the waffles. Maybe it's something in the Waffle House batter.

SPEAKING OF WHICH

[I forgot about this until just now]

There is a conspiracy among the restaurateurs in the land - every single time I find something I like, the next time I go to order it, I hear this: "I'm sorry...we're out." It has happened at several locations, and about every other time we go out to eat. I like beer cheese soup from Baker Bros? Next time I go, it's all "Yes, we have it. Wait...no, we don't." I like Pizza Soup? "I'm sorry, we are discontinuing it." Did I want chili from Waffle House? "We're out today!" AND, last night, all I wanted was a buttermilk waffle. "We don't have any of that batter made up." *sits down and sobs* Sheesh. I'm never mad at whoever tells me - it's not their fault, and besides, there is something just as delicious on the menu. It's just weird that it KEEPS. ON. HAPPENING. Even at places like McDonald's, for Pete's sake!!! :P

/rant over.

So I have a new T.V. favorite - I cannot believe it's true, but someone I love dearly likes it so I thought I'd give it a try - and now I'm completely hooked! 2 stars from some of my favorite T.V./film [Arrested Development/Enough] are in it, which is a bonus, and there's a character on there I just LOVE. [Kurt Hummel, anyone?!] Yeah...I'm watching GLEE. You would have thought I'd be watching it before now, right? A T.V. show that's a musical? Well, the entire truth is that I forgot it was on, and when it did come on, I was in the midst of Fringe/Ugly Betty/The Office/Castle/Psych/Leverage and didn't feel like I had time. But now, while Psych and Leverage are on a waiting list to start up again next year, I have time, right?! HA! Too bad! Now that I LOVE this show, it's going to STOP on Dec. 9 and I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL FREAKING APRIL! Sigh...such is my life. Just one stroke of bad luck after another.

Kidding! Well, it is bad luck where t.v. and food are concerned, but hey...there are much more important things to be concerned about...right? :P

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I'll be blogging later about my NaNo novel! I wrote over 50,000 words this month! WOOHOO!

Hot Chocolate & Popcorn

Last night I settled down to wait for Stu to get home and decided that while I was writing for my NaNoWriMo project, I would make myself some popcorn and hot chocolate. I rewarded myself every few hundred words by eating popcorn or drinking the hot chocolate, and I met my goal at midnight. Stu got home a few minutes later and I went to bed full of buttery and chocolate-y goodness. My dream was pretty epic, and I owe it to the popcorn. Try it sometime.

I dreamed that I was at a lakehouse, attempting to rescue Edward James Olmos from an underground conspiracy/government overthrow. I was waiting for them to leave him in a room alone for a few minutes so I could run in, but I was in disguise so I had to pretend like I was one of the people enjoying the pond/lake [which I hate] so I ended up going to float on the pond - as I sat there in my tube, I wondered, "Isn't this the pond with the alligators in it?" So then I got out of the pond [It was beside the lake].

I saw a group of men in soldier outfits escorting Mr. Olmos to one of the smaller buildings beside the lakehouse and followed them, to see him tied up in a chair. They left, talking and smoking, and I crept in and untied him. We were going to make our escape but...

I woke up.

:(

It was pretty epic though anyway - I mean, Edward James Olmos?!

This Is Why I'm So Tired

Two nights ago I had a dream of epic proportions. I'm talking a full on, three switch dream with characters from West Wing, the Disney Channel, and Harry Potter. For the record, I ate Ramen noodles and Cheez-its for dinner, which is what brought on the onslaught.

The first section of my dream, I was Donna from The West Wing and Sam, Josh and I [both from The West Wing] were at a political rally that was quickly turning sour. We ran out of the stadium, fearing for our lives, and Josh and I tripped, and somehow we were hurt because we laid on the ground waiting for Sam to get help while we hopefully avoided the riotous crowd.

The dream then switched to an audition for a new Disney venture - Disney Musical Theatre! Ashley Tisdale and I were competing for the same part, but I think we were friends because she wanted both of us to have a part. I have not danced in years so I knew my dance routine was a little crazy and not on par, which resulted in me not getting the part. The old man who was auditioning us [along with a few others from the Disney Channel, but I can't remember who they were] then had to listen to Ashley begging for me to at least be her understudy. I then decided to try one more time and made a very graceful, very classical ballet audition, which won me another role. We then sat on an antique couch and talked about what we would buy with our paychecks. I made the comment that I would pay for ballet lessons and fencing [I THINK it was fencing - either that or voice] lessons, which resulted in everyone laughing at me, but I said, "I am serious! I have not taken ballet in years and I would love to take lessons again!"

The third sequence happened right then - I was in the front seat of the Ford Anglia with Ron and Harry in the back, waiting on Mr. Weasley to find a Port Key as we escaped from Death Eaters and Voldemort. Ron got out of the car and disappeared, only to reappear later with a jagged, glowing green sword [almost a lightsaber] that we were going to fight Voldemort off with.

There ended the dreams, and I awoke as exhausted as when I went to sleep. :P

Movies I'd Rather Have

Don't get me wrong: I love Twilight. I don't care who thinks it is retarded, weird, stupid, or simply a piece of crap. I love the books and I'm glad Stephenie Meyer wrote them. [Although I will say her sci-fi book The Host is heaps better. Really. And I have a whole long rant about Twilight, the fans, Stephenie, etc., but it is too long and frankly I'd rather not go into it without provocation]

BUT

I would rather be watching these books being turned into movies, preferably directed by someone like Peter Jackson, with music by James Newton Howard or Michael Giacchino, with an amazing cast:

1. The Prydain Chronicles - either a T.V. show or movies. Come on, that's 5 movies right there, or a mini-series!

2. The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle - they've been trying to make this one for years. Still 'in production'.

3. The Giver - same as above.

4. The Abhorsen trilogy - the most kick-ass fantasy films of the Millenium. For serious. I would LOVE to see this come to life with Peter Jackson at the helm.

5. Redwall - I'm not talking the new cheap CG that has been drowning the market recently. I am talking Pixar style. This would also be amazing.

What books would you like to see on the big screen?

Quotes

I have just received my library card for Richland County and have consequently been reading a lot. Some of the new books I have grabbed from the shelves to devour are:

The Magician's Elephant by Kate DiCamillo

Hate That Cat by Sharon Creech

Mister Monday by Garth Nix [Book I of the Keys to the Kingdom series]

Taggerung by Brian Jacques [part of the illustrious Redwall saga]

The Prydain Chronicles [5 books] by Lloyd Alexander

I have also started keeping a notebook of quotes that I really like from the books I'm reading, or movies I've watched, or professors that I love listening to in class on Friday afternoon and then eat lunch with them to discover that they share my love of Ugly Betty which makes me wish I'd had classes with them freshman year because my whole school experience could have potentially been very different. And better.

Anyway: Here are some quotes of the week from the books I've been reading:

"For each of us comes a time when we must be more than what we are." [Dallben of Caer Dallben, from Lloyd Alexander's third book in the Chronicles of Prydain, The Castle of Llyr]

"I want to be recognized!" Eilonwy cried. "I want to be me!" [Princess Eilonwy in The Castle of Llyr]

"How will the world change if we do not question it?"

"The world cannot be changed," said Gloria. "The world is what the world is and has forever been."

"No," said Leo Matienne softly, "I will not believe that. For here is Peter standing before us asking us to make it something different."

[from The Magician's Elephant by Kate DiCamillo]

What are we to make of a world where stars shine bright in the midst of so much darkness and gloom?

[also from The Magician's Elephant]

If you have never read any books by these authors, I highly recommend them. Most of them are on the short list of authors that I always try to read everything they write. [Contrary to what one may imagine, I am an author/subject/series hopper. I rarely stick with a favorite author b/c I don't always like all of their books.]

Here's the short list of writers I always read from:

Sharon Creech
Cameron Dokey
Jane Austen
L.M. Montgomery
Agatha Christie
Joan Aiken
Natalie Babbitt
Andrew Clements
Gerald Morris

Notice that some of my favorite stories do not belong to any of these - Madeleine L'Engle, Lois Lowry, Lloyd Alexander, Avi, Garth Nix, and Kate DiCamillo have some of my most favorite stories, but I just can't like everything they write. Madeleine and Avi, especially, have written some detestedly boring books.

Books I am interested in reading [now that I actually have a library card]:

The Keys to the Kingdom Series by Garth Nix
Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan
The Redwall Series by Brian Jacques [have to play some catch-up]
Artemis Fowl series [I'm just curious]
The Willoughbys by Lois Lowry
Replay by Sharon Creech
The Castle Corona by Sharon Creech
The Wolves Chronicles by Joan Aiken [haven't read all of them yet]
Belle by Cameron Dokey
The Wild Orchid: Ballad of Mulan by Cameron Dokey
Snow Child by Cameron Dokey

What books do you want to read? Do you prefer buying them first or borrowing them and then purchasing if you really like it?

Sick, Sick, Sick with Worry

So...

Things have gone from bad to worse. I paid for a money order of $650.00 on last Monday. I mailed it to our landlord's box on Tuesday. He has still not received it and came to check on us on Friday to see if everything was alright.

The bad part is, I have no idea where the receipt is. I know I paid for it with my debit card so I can get a statement, but I have no idea how long that will take because I don't have online banking and I won't be able to even have free time to go to the bank until Thursday.

We also cannot afford to pay $1300 in one month on rent. We just can't. We have had to ask Stu's mom for help every month but last, and we were so proud we made it the whole month without having to beg for some extra cash. They are having a rough time too so it's not like we can borrow $650.00 at one go and pay them later.

I am so sick with worry. I'm about to vomit and I'm already sick with something else [it being that time of the month] so you can just imagine how I feel. I don't know what to do and of course I assume the worst so I'm imagining getting kicked out of our house that we've been in two months.

I knew we hadn't put the boxes away for a reason. I knew that's why we hadn't unpacked all our stuff. I knew we weren't going to stay here long - all this stuff keeps running through my head, all similar to the above.

I am praying and praying that I can either find a receipt [which possibly got thrown out this morning by my officemate] or get the statement and find a # for the money order. We just can't pay any more and I'm afraid we've used up the last of our landlord's patience. I already feel bad because the people I asked to move in so I could move out have been rather nasty lately about deposits and paying for their nasty dog messes that have stained the carpet and the flooring underneath, and I don't know what to do.

I don't know what we can do. Except move out. Start over. Find a cheap little craphole and put all our stuff in storage until we a) get better, full-time jobs b) buy a house [with the $0 we have] or c) move in w/ someone.

I am so sick and tired right now. I'm sick of people who won't talk to me or who apparently don't want to hang out with me even though I've tried being their friend for over 3 years, I'm tired of hanging around people I don't really know, and I'm tired of having to be out of the house all the time. All I want to do is be home with Stu. Write. Work on my dollhouses. Do craft stuff. Cook. Clean. Watch movies and t.v.

I WANT TO ESCAPE.

New Addition to the DOLLHOUSE Family!

GREAT NEWS!

So, I haven't been on the dollhouse forum in months, mostly because I felt bad that I couldn't find my camera to post pictures of my fairytale dollhouse, which they were all clamoring for. I lost touch with my two friends and for six months didn't hear anything. Then, one of my friends writes me yesterday to tell me she's moving and did I want an unused dollhouse kit and a furniture kit to go with it?!

She's shipping it to me as an early Christmas present! WOOHOOOOO!!!!!

It's a 1/2" scale, which I haven't done before, but it's a lovely little Victorian house with lots of fireplaces and an adorable little porch. I'm quite excited.

So that makes a total of 4 dollhouses that will be in my possession, one needing re-decorating, one needing finishing, and 2 still in their kit boxes!!!!

If the little Victorian one turns out, I might give it to Stu's mom, although it's already shaping itself into a house for one of my characters...we'll see, I suppose.

Have a great weekend, everybody!!

Mess

I once had a dream that I was on a road blocked by trash. There was a steep cliff on one side, and a high wall on the other - no way to get past the huge trash heap. I wondered how I would keep going and an angel appeared, handing me a sword. Together, we began hacking away at the huge stash of paper, wood, and plastic.

I never got to see the road cleared, but I woke up knowing that there were things in my life junking up my path.

I sometimes wish to revisit that dream so I can see if I've cleared up a lot of stuff or if there is more junk piled on top. I need to keep hacking away at it, I guess.

Writing "Violet's Monster" reminded me of this because of NaNoWriMo - for those of you who don't know [and I'm sure most of you DO know], November is National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words in 30 days which is a good way to get a very rough draft of a story done. Your "inner editor" goes on vacation [or you put her in jail, depending on how you feel about her] and you just write.

Of course a lot of it is trash - but that's what the first draft is for. I wrote today thinking "Ok, when my editor comes back I'm going to cut this out," and it was a lot like slogging through a bunch of trash.

But I see a little tiny light in there. There's a jewel in there, somewhere, ready to be polished. I have a 'graveyard of novel ideas' and I know this is the first one that really has promise. I'm going to keep hacking away at it until it's presentable. Hopefully I'll have cleared all the trash out of it by then. :)

What's Going to Happen to Betty?!

So I just found out that Ugly Betty Season 4 premiered on Oct. 16. I hurriedly went to Hulu and SURPRISE! They had all the episodes! I just finished all three and...WOW. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO BETTY?!?!?!

I think I have added suspense b/c I did some research and found out how the telenovela Betty La Fea turned out...and I want it to happen!!!! Sigh. So now I'm going to have to watch it every week and hope it turns out like I want it to!

I love Ugly Betty because Betty isn't really ugly - she's only "ugly" to the fashion industry people b/c they have such a different sense of style than she does. I mean, a girl from Queens who wants to be a fashion editor? Give me a break. But in walks Betty, who's well adjusted, loved by her family, and positive, and they just give her hell. She goes through some rough stuff, but at the end of the day, Betty is the one that I would look up to as a role-model. She's smart, hard-working, and beautiful [even with the braces/glasses!]. Working on the confidence and gracefulness. I love the interplay between her home life and her work life too - so crazy! Some of the other characters I love, some I love to hate. :P Needless to say:

I love Ugly Betty. :)

Kate's T.V. Lineup - Fall '09 to Spring '10

Yes...I adore t.v. shows...and so I was bored this morning and made a list of what I am watching that's currently on t.v. as well as what will be on and what I'm watching that isn't on t.v. but is still a t.v. show.

Here are the shows I'm already watching [through Hulu, Netflix, or actually on t.v.]:

Shows I watch faithfully:

1. Castle - Nathan Fillion as a mystery writer who aids a detective in solving murder cases?! Delicious! There's more going on here than that, though, and I appreciate the several interweaving subplots. It's a great little show, 2nd season.

2. Fringe - The new X-files-esque show...with LEONARD NIMOY!!! What's not to love?! This show has a twisting, mysterious plot as well as suspense and a great cast. Very intriguing. Probably one of the top shows on T.V. right now. Season 2.

3. The Office - even though season 4 wasn't so great, season 5 was awesome, and season 6, so far, is crazy and wonderful. I'm interested to see where this goes.

4. Psych - in it's 4th season. The tension between the main characters is driving me crazy, in a good way. This season is darker and seems to be heading in a certain direction that we've all been hoping for since season 1. This is a fun yet also deep show that deals with relationships as well as solving cases.

5. Leverage - my favorite show this year. Christian Kane [Lindsey from Angel] and the rest of the cast make every episode memorable, amazing, and unique. LOVE LOVE LOVE this show! 2nd season.

Shows I am watching whenever I can catch them:

1. Bones - David Boreanaz as a kind of goofy detective-type. It's pretty funny. But I miss Angel. :(

2. Lie to Me - I love the premise of this show. Also serious, with relationship/character development subplots that are pretty neat. And James Marsters was in a recent episode!!

Shows I can't wait for: [coming later this fall/early next year]

Chuck
Ugly Betty
Caprica

Shows I want to watch and keep up with:

Warehouse 13
Glee

Shows that aren't on anymore that I will be watching at some point:

Pushing Daisies
Firefly
Angel
Arrested Development
X-Files
Battlestar Galactica
Buffy the Vampire Slayer [certain seasons/episodes as I miss them]
Star Trek [various shows...depending on our collection/Netflix queue]

Web Series I am watching:

The Guild - Felicia Day! And gamers!
Ctrl - Tony Hale!

So...am I crazy? Does anyone else watch any of these shows? Which do you love?

And I just realized this means I am watching 20+ shows...I MUST be nuts. :P Maybe I'm just gearing up to turn The Gentleman's Lady into a t.v. series some day...*dreams*

It's A Weird Weird Place in Dream-World

So, sometimes I dream I'm a male. Not because I want to be male [sorry, guys, but - ugh. No thanks.] but...I guess I'm pretty masculine in some ways, being really close to my dad, so sometimes I dream I'm a guy. For whatever reasons my brain hasn't decided to disclose to me. And not to weird everyone out, but this dream made me laugh last night:

I dreamed I was my cousin Stephen [I know, it's weird] and that he was in love with this girl named Emily. She was an ambassador's daughter from France, I believe, and they met at a summer camp where they were both working. [Just go with it] ANYWAY they had fallen in love but the ambassador didn't approve so she was getting shipped off back to France. She followed Stephen home down an old dirt road and they said a tearful goodbye. They hugged and fell in the grass, where they looked at each other and started kissing. Somehow, I guess they got a little carried away [I was outside the body at this point, thank God] and slid down the stairs. Stephen's little brother saw them making out at the bottom of the stairs and ran inside screaming "STEPHEN'S MAKING BABIES!!!!!!!!" and the mom comes running out and sees them kissing and I go up to them and say "Did someone tell him that kissing leads to making babies?!" and she said yes.

So he went around saying Stephen and his girlfriend were making babies.

That's about the weirdest dream I've had in months.

Just thought I would share.

Hope you're not too freaked out. :P

Game Night #2

Just so you know - if you want to read what's going on in our D&D 4.0 campaign, take a look at www.xanga.com/shadowhawke_run. Stu posted a DM preview yesterday, we played last night, and I wrote a synopsis and POV post today. :) Enjoy!

Writer's Meeting Tonight!

So tonight we have a writer's meeting at Starbucks on Gervais. 7 p.m. if you're interested. We get together and bring a few pages of what we're writing [or not] and critique/praise what others are doing. It's fun! :)

I'm having a hard time either a) finding something to bring or b) writing something I can take.

I wrote a piece today called "You Are Autumn" and it's on my Facebook if you want to read it. I found a song and wanted to write a poem but a stream-of-consciousness type thing came out of it. Kind of a love letter to two of my favorites: my hubby and my favorite season. :)

Anyway...that's not really the kind of thing I want critiqued. I'm debating between some poetry, a short story, or starting something new...I'd have to edit if I took a short story, which I don't really want to do [I tend to start from scratch when editing, just saving the basic idea], but I also don't have inspiration to write something new...completely.

I started writing a horror short the other day but I don't really know how I want it to end, or if it ends as a short or if it actually becomes a novella. It's tentatively titled "Massacre" and it's a little weird. Not my norm.

I've thought about taking some of my poetry, but I don't really like to explain it and so much of it is completely personal. Highly, highly personal. So...I just don't know. We'll see.

But I am really super excited about Violet's Monster and fleshing out what's going on in that story so maybe I'll work on that part of the afternoon and then search for something to take to the writer's meeting tonight [I took part of that last time so...don't want repeats!].

Have a lovely day, everyone. Happy Autumn!

The Abhorsen Trilogy

Ok, so, in order to not do what I'm supposed to be doing, I procrastinated by starting The Abhorsen trilogy again. I think it's my 4th or 5th time reading them.

GOOD GRIEF.

I have forgotten how awesome the first book is! The 2nd book is completely my favorite but GOSH Garth Nix is incredible!

Just wanted to say that and also if you haven't read the books - DO SO. IMMEDIATELY.

And then talk to me about them. :)

I'm trembling from all the battle action and being creeped out by all the undead. And, can I say, Touchstone and Sabriel and Mogget are the best road trip companions EVER. So cool.

Anyways...I'm off to work this afternoon but I MAY start reading Lirael [book II of the Abhorsen trilogy, first one is Sabriel, last one's Abhorsen] if things are slow. Hopefully they are slow.

One more thing:

The weather is GORGEOUS today. I just ate lunch and read Sabriel outside for an hour. WOOHOO!!!! I'm a teensy bit drunk with sunlight.

Buffy Season 7

So last night Stu, Laura and I finished Buffy season 7.

I have to say...I didn't quite like how everything wrapped up. Especially since I know what goes on in Angel!

Here is my dream pairing for main characters [sorry, I'm a girl. These things matter!]

1. Angel + Cordelia
2. Spike + Buffy
3. Willow + Oz
4. Dawn + Xander [Remember how Laurie and Amy got married? Same idea here]
5. Principal Wood/Robin + Faith

Angel and Cordelia are already in a relationship by this point...but Angel comes to see Buffy and there's an idea that "someday they'll be together." Stupid Angel. You and Cordy already have a great thing going! Don't ruin it!!

Spike DESERVES some happiness, after all the hell he went through for the entire series!!!! I believe, at the end, Buffy does love Spike, but he pretends she doesn't so he won't mind so much when sacrificing himself...anyway, that's what I tell myself. I think they're perfect for each other. And Spike > Angel. 'Nuff said.

So...Kennedy should just DIE already. Gosh. And Willow and Oz know they still love each other...and Oz has been in Nepal...so he'll figure out a way to keep from going crazy. Willow and Oz were wonderful/will be wonderful. I promise!

Dawn and Xander isn't such a crazy pairing - again, I refer to Little Women. Besides, they're the two w/out powers so...they kind of go together.

Faith and Principal Wood...for obvious reasons. He takes her down a notch and they're one-of-a-kind individuals, in their own ways. I don't like them much but they deserve some happy after the horribleness that was season 7!!

Anyway...

Besides the obvious relationship stupidness, I like how it ended. The last shot is great. And the last battle is pretty epic. Now if only what Stu wanted to happen would have happened - Buffy and gang show up to help Angel at the end of season 5. That would have ROCKED.

I just...can't count the comics as canon. They are TOO ridiculous.

The thing that gets me is Spike. The way his character evolves throughout the show is so powerful. It's incredible to see him going from one end of the spectrum to the other, and at the end you're just like "WTF, SPIKE IS THE COOLEST CAT ON THE PLANET, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING, BUFFY?!?!?!?!" Sheesh. Angel may have been Buffy's first love, but Spike was always there for her. And really went to the ends of the earth to become the man she deserved! Poor Spike. :( He's the Snape of the Buffy series.

Anyway...I feel a little lost and sad that it's now over, but thankfully I have all seven seasons so if I REALLY miss them a whole lot...I can start back at the beginning. :)

Fall Break...or not

So while everyone else is out having fun [including my boss], I'm sitting here in the office contemplating what I WOULD do with a day off.

:P

Just kidding, I'm not bitter - more moniez are coming my way! I am blessed to get more hours at work when we need them rather badly.

I think if I could spend today the way I wanted I would have Stu get off work too - spend the morning on the couch, sipping hot chocolate and eating something delicious while watching Buffy & Angel...and then we would take a nap [I'm very tired] and then wake up to cook beef stew for lunch and then spend the afternoon writing, crafting, and practicing music. Then playing D&D!

I do get some of Thanksgiving break off...so I'm looking forward to that.

Have fun you guys, whatever you're doing today. :)

NaNoWriMo, here I come!!

So...I met a new friend at church who is a part of NaNoWriMo. For those of you who aren't aware of this weirdness, it's "National Novel Writing Month" in November. 50,000 words is the typical goal, and apparently it's a worldwide thing. So anyway, I have 2 friends who are trying it out this year [one's been doing it for a few years now] and I have decided to become insane and embrace the crazy. I'm going for 50,000 words next month! I think it will be a great way to work on "Violet's Monster" so that I can start editing it next semester.

Anyway...for those of you whose interest was just piqued, check out nanowrimo.org and perhaps you will want to join in the fun!

There are several events throughout this month and next in an effort to keep us all focused on our goal.

I'm pretty excited.

Hidden Away

Here I am, a free Monday afternoon, and where am I?

Holed up in a practice room, watching T.V. and movies on Hulu/Netflix. And eating the remains of chicken spaghetti. Also procrastinating by not working on the two short stories I've been working on this weekend.

I wish I was at home. :(

"The day you DO Suss out what you want, there'll probably be a parade..."

So...season 7 of Buffy is crazy. Just thought you should know. We ended our episode spree last night on a CLIFFHANGER and I definitely dreamed I was in the Buffy 'verse last night.

Anyway, Buffy always gets me thinking - I want to create a t.v. show like that, where my beliefs show through and it's a wonderful story with amazing characters that live and die and are happy and angry and sad...and people think about things after the show is over. Whether Joss feels/thinks this way or not, I've picked up on some things...some things I would point out to Christians especially, if they were skittish about watching a Vampire show [which is infinitely cooler than all the other stuff out right now, trust me].

1. Magic ALWAYS has consequences - mostly bad ones.
2. Don't sleep around - it leads to heartache every time.
3. Be careful of how you treat others - it can come back to bite you later [...].
4. love is the important thing.

I think Christians should watch things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. It's a look at what good and evil look like, and how some things are more complicated than we think. There's redemption for people that seem to have 0% chance. Also...mixing w/ dark things has the potential to really mess with you. It's not recommended.

Whether Joss meant to say these things or not, it's what happens, and I'm just glad that I learned my lesson from a t.v. show and not from real experience, which would be even scarier.

I'm so sad I'm almost done watching the show. There isn't much resolution b/c their story [somewhat canon] is still going on in the comic books. But no one's happy. I would have made sure they learned their lessons and had some degree of happiness...but apparently, living in the Hellmouth is not conducive to joy. Big surprise. So I shall have to make up my own ending for the series and then start watching Angel.

Although...I kind of feel like going back to season 4 and starting again from there...maybe season 3. Seasons 4-7 especially are deep, thought-provoking, emotional, and challenging.

I <3 Joss Whedon.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

So...I had a pretty weird dream last night...I think watching so much of Buffy [Seasons 6 and 7] might have had something to do with it. :)

In my dream, I was in a house with a bunch of people including my mother and sister. WE were going through the closet looking at gowns because we had to go to some sort of school event - homecoming or some such nonsense. Anyway, I tried on a few dresses I really liked [and my choice was limited b/c we didn't have many in my size] but someone always said it didn't look right. So I got aggravated and then noticed my arm was turning black.

Holding out my left arm, I hurried to find Willow. She quickly healed it and it appeared again. After a few healings, we realized that something was coming and my body was alerting us to the fact. We started battening down the hatches, so to speak, when some evil flying angel looking things landed and walked right in the door. My arm had scratches and bruises all over it and was beginning to turn black and flaky. They were looking for someone.

We fought them off and then started packing so we could leave, but I had to stay near Willow because we were watching my arm, which had little black lines all over it...

...Just kind of creepy, you know? Not pleasant to wake up from...especially if it's dark outside and raining.

Anyway. That was my dream. Weird.

Playing Andromeda

Last night we started a new D&D game. I absolutely LOVE role-playing. I dressed up as my character, practiced wand movements, and carefully crafted a mini. I started forming a back-story and tried to figure out how to work the dice. Everything about D&D excites me.

I'm playing a half-elf named Andromeda. Andromeda Constantia Della-Roma. Her backstory, in a few short sentences, is as follows:

Andromeda was raised by her human father after her elf mother left. Andromeda identifies with her elvish heritage and runs away to join a tribe - only to find that they don't accept her either. She joins a traveling troupe of performers and learns music, and is later trained by a bard. She joins a group [the people she's with now] to earn some money on the side while looking for her parents and trying to find a place where she fits in.

I love this character already. Although she's a grifter, known for her powerful, sparkling personality, she's not happy. She feels alone, unaccepted, and it shows when she feels abandoned [like last night's game - long story]. I just started writing her backstory for our xanga [xanga.com/Shadowhawke_Run]and I am ecstatic that I get to play her.

It is such a wonderful thing to get to work on improvisation and acting and witty banter, along with a group of people interested in the adventure we're on - it's a great way to get closer to people and learn more about them while imagining a grand adventure. I think we've lost a lot of that as "grown-ups" and humans in general, and I intend to keep playing because it's a deep source of creativity and and entertainment that is so much more compelling than sitting down to watch a sports game or read the newspaper. To those who enjoy those things - wonderful! I'm glad you enjoy them. I just...find D&D so much more enthralling.

Anyway, a half-elf bard is not what I would have chosen myself [I prefer halflings], but I am thrilled that Andromeda is shaping up to be a character with depth and feeling. Something I can really work with. And I'm totally dressing up for every game. :)

Who Knew?!

As I sit here in the office, I get bored of "dinking" on the computer. I don't want to go to my facebook every few minutes, I don't want to check my e-mail, and I'm tired of seeing if there is any new crap I want from totallyfreecrap.com

So I finally decide to write. I think I'm a writer just because I procrastinate with it...:P Not that I WANT to procrastinate, but...it's hard work and I put it off if I'm stuck or if I get distracted...anyway...

So I started organizing a playlist for my story "Violet's Monster" and I noticed that I started putting up several of the same genre of songs. It was strange, but I reasoned that they were for another 2 characters...and THEN I saw what my characters wanted. There is a second book! There is a continuation of this story!!! And it's exactly the kind of story I would love to read. I think I am on to something here.

I even got a vague idea of where a 3rd and 4th book could go, and I wrote it all down so I wouldn't forget. It literally made me so happy that I teared up just thinking about writing the scenes for the 2nd book.

Who knew?! I love being given ideas. I love it when they just pop into my head and I have this wonderful little present that I preserve on pristine white.

It's been a good day.

Once More With Feeling

Lately I have been feeling as if I'm on the brink of some wonderful discovery.

In between the times where I feel like a complete jerk because I don't want an inside dog and I have to do boring, normal things like housework and "work."

I think the doggie situation is going to be a little smoother...Stu suggested we keep her outside [never mind the barking], if we get her a lead line and patch the fence. I'm ok with that. She can even sleep inside when it gets really cold. We have a doggie igloo in the pen that we can warm up and put a heat lamp next to that will work too. That would be fine with me. I just don't want the neighbors to be annoyed with us if she yelps all the time. So we'll see how that works out. I think it would be awesome to have a dog that doesn't have to be taken out or watched over 24-7 and that we can walk nightly to get our exercise. That is cool. I just don't want a dog that needs CONSTANT attention. I can't give that and I would just end up angry and frustrated all the time.

We ARE getting a hamster. Which will be loads of fun. It will be awake at night, when we are home, and it will be in my craft room, where the wheel won't wake us up at night. We can hold him and feed him treats and laugh when he exercises in the little hamster ball. And it's easy to take care of them. Plus he won't require a pet deposit. So...looking forward to a wee little furbaby joining us soon.

Stu says I'm like a hamster - I can keep myself occupied with a myriad of things. Which, for the most part, is true. I like being by myself [sometimes] and even if I'm with people I will just do my own thing.

I'm watching through Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 6 now...it is remarkable how much characters can change throughout a show. Stu and I both love the serial story-telling style, and that is what draws me to television. Especially shows that connect through the episodes to end up going somewhere...it's fascinating to me. I still want to be in/write for a long-running T.V. show. It would be awesome.

Not much else to say at the moment, other than that I am trying to get to work on writing. I've got the children's picture book to illustrate, "Violet's Monster" to plot out and write, and then The Gentleman's Lady...I've got to do the promo poster and start getting the plotlines in order before I figure out whether it's going to be a t.v. show or a series of novels. We'll see.

Movies to watch this year:

Fantastic Mr. Fox
Where the Wild Things Are
Ponyo
UP
Gentleman Broncos
Coraline [already on DVD]

Tidbits

1. Whenever I watch a t.v. show I have the urge to write and star in a long-running, award winning show. I sometimes believe I can make this possible. The Gentleman's Lady would be perfect. I want to speak to people, to connect, and to make them feel deeply.

2. I love reading mylifeisaverage.com. People do take joy in the little things.

3. I love eating vegetarian meals.

4. I'm considering pursuing a M.F.A. in Musical Theatre.

5. "Without music...my life would be a blank." [10 points if you name the place where this is quoted] It really would be. I can't do dishes without homework, I love singing along with my cds, and I write to soundtracks.

6. I wish sometimes that I could go back and do my life all over again. It would be very, very different.

7. I'm so glad Autumn is coming. It is my very favorite season.

Why I Love The "Bad Boys"

Professor Severus Snape. Spike. Captain Jas. Hook. Dr. Horrible.

These guys are some of my favorites in all of literature/media. They all have these deep personalities, complex, somewhat mysterious, and...intriguing.

I loved Professor Snape from the first. There was something about him...some...hint of depth behind the cold, dark eyes. I was hardly disappointed with his arc. You could say that the whole story of the Harry Potter series began with him. He taught Harry the spell that became his [Harry's] trademark.

Dr. Horrible is played by Neil Patrick Harris. Need I say more? He just exudes innocence. Even if he's trying to do something to get into the Evil League of Evil.

I didn't always love Captain Hook and Spike. I found a book a year or two ago that opened my eyes to Captain Hook's amazing character. The tagline reads "Even a Villain Can Have a Hero's Heart". It's...incredible. What happened BEFORE he became Captain Hook.

Spike has always been interesting. An amusing character, but who knew how deeply he really felt? And how could he look that way when something tragic happened?! There were also several "Save the Cat" moments in his arc in Season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. ["Save the Cat" is what every HERO has at the beginning of a story. They do something that gains sympathy with the audience. It's why we're willing to root for certain people]

Now - what do these guys all have in common?

They were changed and often did things because of one thing: love.

Professor Snape did everything because of his love for Lily that lasted well beyond her death. Dr. Horrible wanted to show Penny he loved her. And he didn't want to do something bad and risk losing her. [No spoilers here!]

Spike and Captain Hook were both changed by love. I won't go into detail but...watching Season 5 of Buffy I realized just how much Spike's character transforms into something great. There's a piece of flair that I think is the reason why Spike is so popular: "Spike: Because he had to EARN his soul."

And that's why I like the "bad boys". At least in film/television/literature. They have such complexity and depth and...they have to work through things to become better people.

I guess that's why heroes have always been less interesting to me. They're already through their journey. They're just kicking butt and getting the girl.

Parker Posey

So...Kaitlin had a bit of a meltdown on Saturday. I have revelations about myself very rarely, but since I had not slept the night before and I hadn't eaten in 24 hours [not by choice, I will explain!], I went a little...ballistic. :P Again...poor Stu!

We picked up the puppy Friday night. She liked riding in the car, and we started playing with her new toy...we walked her around and a friend came over. Apparently she's a people doggy. Except I don't know that she likes darker people. :/ Anyway, we put a cushion by my side of the bed and taught her not to get on the bed. [I much prefer this method of training...no violence, only rewards for good behavior] She slept through most of the night and then took another nap while we slept until 9.

Stu had to work that day so I trained the puppy all morning and then put her in the HUGE pen [it's seriously 10X20, it's enormous] and...she hated it. Barked and barked for HOURS until I started reading "Captain Hook," which promptly made her go to sleep. Silly dog.

Exhausted and starving, I had no choice but to watch her because the pen isn't 100% secure and she found a way to get off her lead line/out of her harness. When Stu got home around 6 I was in tears and hating the little puppy's guts. I wandered around outside with her and begged Stu to get a kennel.

This is actually kinda funny now but then I was suffering from hunger pangs and extreme exhaustion so everything was heightened and a little dramatic. And then it hit me why I was so upset that I hadn't been able to have any me time:

I have always had to care for something other than myself. When my brother died, I had to "take care" of my parents, as well as a 2 year old could. When I had siblings, I helped take care of them, even getting up in the night with my youngest brother [which is why, to this day, he will choose to be with me rather than anyone else]. I've had to care for pets too, even if they weren't mine, and when I got to school, I cared for people who took advantage of me [none of the present company, I promise!] and it wore me out.

I was tired of caring for others. I've become selfish and more introverted than before. This explains a lot of my behavior for the past year and a half...I wanted to be alone and enjoy my own time, which isn't a bad thing, but sometimes to the exclusion of everyone else, which can be a bad thing. I was unhealthy, and uncaring about others.

I see what Gina meant when she said it might be a good thing for introverted people to have pets. It brings out the better side of us. "I want to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am" is a very popular quote for doggy owners. It holds true for me. Although I can't say I adore Parker Posey...she's a cute little dog. Very smart. Easy to train...and I'm on my way to loving her.

Meanwhile I am working on my selfishness while also establishing time for just me, to make sure that I can be by myself to relax and then go and take care of whoever needs taking care of.

Pets can teach you a lot. I hope to be an excellent student.

Dancing Through Life

10 points to anyone who guesses where the title of this post comes from.

And now on to why I'm writing:

I feel like I'm just skating through what we call "life." True, I do have some crazy stories and I've had some weird experiences, BUT there are the proper ways people go about life.

1. School
2. Job
3. Marriage
4. Kids
5. Retirement

I've done almost everything I can to avoid the "proper channels." Even as a child, when I saw people living in neighborhoods, side by side, with everything the same, I was filled with an inexplicable, passionate distaste for the "ordinary." I didn't want to be like everyone else. I hated "normalcy." I wanted to be an oddball, someone who didn't fit in and who lived life a little...strangely.

I thought about that today and how "normal" my life looks now.

I also thought about how I've worked. I started working for my art teacher at about 12, and then landed jobs with help from parents and roommates. I've never been to an interview and I've avoided almost all the normal paperwork. Somehow. It is so weird to me. I know I'm not the only one who's "magically" avoided the odds and ends of job hunts [and I sure sent out 50 resumes this summer with nary a reply except for SPAM] but it's...strange. Like I'm just floating through this time in my life. No real manual labor to ground me in reality, no artistic passion to keep me inspired...

I'm not unhappy with my job. There are so many things about it that I LIKE. I just don't know...what [if anything] I will do after this ends. Because there will be an end. Either I will have to leave because I can't remain an alumnus/student worker forever, or I will get offered a job here that I won't take [I can't abide by some of the standards...watching movies and dancing, namely...sigh...] and I'll have to find a new job.

But I tried finding a new job. I looked all summer. 3 months. 50 resumes. Government jobs, law offices, doctor clinics, music schools, etc. I know that finding a job is really tough right now but there were a LOT of opportunities and none of them ever even wrote me a "thank you but we've hired someone else...".

Stu and I were talking today about how he felt like he should be more at his age. I can see why he feels that way, but honestly, few people get ANYWHERE before they are 30+. We try as hard as we can to get where we want to go but really God is the One who plans our steps and sometimes He takes it slow for us. Probably so we will learn to be patient. Which is not one of Stu's strong points. Or mine, for that matter. I just become apathetic. Anyway, we were talking about professionals because we were listening to someone on the radio who was interviewing Cheetah Rivera [famous Broadway actress/dancer/singer]. Stu mentioned he wanted to go to theatre school. I mentioned I'd love to go and do ballet as well. Then I said I could get a scholarship with my harp. I probably could.

And that's what's bothering me. I can float through life while some people struggle to come up with a job at McDonald's. WHY?! It's not like it's easy for me, either. I don't KNOW if I could get a scholarship - I've just come to expect it because things like that come my way. I survived my entire college career because of scholarships. I play a unique instrument. I'd probably get in somewhere nice with it. But I just ASSUMED it would happen. And really...there's not much else going on for me at the moment.

All that to say that a) I am grateful for the opportunities I've had, even though b) I feel like things are given to me too freely and c) that I haven't really worked for them and d) that things will get harder from here on out and I can't expect any handouts.

What the hell am I supposed to be doing and why can't I see the next step?!

/End of ramble.

Thank you, Father, for teaching us to be patient and wait for Your Plan to unfold. I trust you with our lives. I thank you for the opportunities so far and I am grateful for any that come our way in the future. Please grant me wisdom and peace concerning these matters.

Amen.

Workout

Yesterday I started my exercise routine. I'll be exercising on Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays...and I'm changing up my diet a bit to include more fresh things and less dead things. :)

A funny thing happened at the gym: I went through the cycle, a couple of toning machines, and then I decided to do a ballet warm-up/cool-down routine to finish. So I went into another room and noticed that there was a CD player. I LOVE CD players...especially when I'm exercising. So I opened it to see what was in it and there was a blank CD. So I put the player on "3" and waited for the music to start.

I did my cool-down routine to "The Final Countdown," giggling the whole time! I just watched "Good Grief" [Arrested Development, Season 2] and of course I couldn't help but remember Gob and that goofy song.

Today I'm a little sore, but less than I was expecting. I want to lose about 15-20 pounds [I'm just over the "overweight" line] and get back to the 130 pounds I should be [according to the National Heart and Lung Association's BMI calculator, which says I would be right up at the top of "Normal Weight," close to "Overweight"].

I'm not going on a diet. I'm going to cut a lot of snacks out [which are mostly carbs] as well as most meat. I'll eat it for protein but when I was a vegetarian I got LOTS of protein [peanut butter, rice and beans, TVP, etc.] and was still slender. I just want to be healthy. And I don't want to have to buy a lot of new big clothes.

I'm also trying to give my brain a workout - reading my 10 books, writing the research paper, and then writing my own manuscript based on my research will give me artistic license as well as practical knowledge and discipline. I'm hoping to finish up my first rough draft by the end of school. That gives me six weeks [after the paper is due] to write 30,000 words which is my goal. :)

So...hopefully my body and my mind get lots of workouts this semester.

Next Friday

So...we went to see the puppy yesterday [Thursday]. We drove out to Batesburg and Stu was a little nervous, because apparently Batesburg/Leesville isn't the safest area of South Carolina. I know nothing of these things.

I did laugh when I saw how many road names were areas in South Carolina - there was a West Columbia Avenue, a Charleston Street, and...something else...I forget. Anyway, it made me chuckle. Silly South Carolinians.

I had called the lady that was keeping the puppy and she sounded like an older woman. When we got to the little white house, we saw that she was not older, but almost our age. I think she smoked so her voice was a little husky. :P We went to the backyard and noticed that there were pens everywhere - sheep, goats, bunnies, ducks, dogs, and cats. Wow. There were a lot of animals! The puppy was on a lead line and I think both of us immediately fell in love.

She was quite a bit smaller than we expected, but that was good because we wanted a small dog. She looks like she's a mix between a beagle and a dachshund [built like a dachshund, colored like a beagle] which is what a pocket beagle is, which is what we were looking at in the first place. Except this puppy is QUITE cheaper.

The lady was nice and the puppy adorable. She ran around saying hello and then tapped our knees with her paws, as if to say "Pick me up!" So we took turns holding her and she cuddled against our shoulders. We put her down and she just plopped on the ground. So apparently, she's not hyper. A plus. I didn't sniff or sneeze once, which is another plus.

So we are bringing her home next Friday so we can spend some time with her on Saturday and Sunday before I have to go back to work on Monday.

I'm more excited that I was earlier. She's not big, she's not high-energy, and she loves to cuddle. I can do that. :) Plus I am excited about walks. We went to Petsmart tonight and bought her a few things - Stu picked out a pretty collar, we got her a ball, some chew toys, and a rope, and we grabbed a harness and some treats. Now we just have to pick up a lead line, a leash, and some food. Yay for puppies!

We are still debating on a name. Now it is down to Penny or Parker. We're going to watch her for a few days and see what she's like before reaching a final decision.

Here is a picture of our new furbaby!

Playlist for The Gentleman's Lady

The Gentleman's Lady is always in the back of my mind. I think of the characters, what happens to them, and how they would react to certain situations. Sometimes, a song will match perfectly the tone that I want to convey.

The Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park is great because it is a specific part in a character's life. [So far, there are 9 characters - 6-7 main ones and those who aren't quite main characters but also not minor characters]

Anyway...just wanted to share that. I always get excited when thinking about this story. :) Hopefully it will get its chance someday.

The Gentleman's Lady

I got an idea over the weekend for a possible poster/book cover for my story that's just waiting around for me to write it..."The Gentleman's Lady" sounds better than "The Gentleman & the Lady" so I'm going with that for now. I'm going to get Stu to take a picture of what I want and then I'm going to attempt some photoshop and/or drawing to make a mock-up of the potential advertisement.

I'm...rather excited. I think it's the best story I've got and honestly, I would love to see it as a movie [it would have to be a pretty epic movie...] or a t.v. series. I love the characters so much and I want to see them breathing and moving and living out their stories...I think it could speak to a lot of people.

So...with all the unpacking, reading, writing, and work that I'm doing, I'm hoping to find a few quiet hours so I can sketch the beginning of my life's masterpiece. :P I'm not saying I write masterpieces...I'm just saying it's probably the best thing I'll ever do. Years in the making. Epic-ness. Heart-break. Hope. Love.

The Gentleman's Lady.

Being Alice Cullen

This title actually makes sense with what I'm about to post, trust me. It's one of those double-meaning titles that will take me a while to describe, so if you're bored, please do read on. :)

This weekend we went to North Carolina so Stu could be a groomsman for a guy he's been friends with since high school. I have met a few of Stu's old friends and I find them all to be wonderful, hilarious, goofy people that I would hang out with of my own choosing. Good to know we have similar taste in the company we keep. :)

Anyhow, I had a predicament. What do I wear? Stu's got a rented tux [*whistles*] but I...have not unpacked all of my [2] fancy wedding outfits. [they're basically the same dress, one is just a solid color and one is a print...they're both amazing though, and comfy!] I couldn't find either of them [having packed them together, of course] so I wandered around the house wondering if a long skirt, short skirt, pant suit, or another combo I hadn't thought of would work.

I decided to check out what was in the closet of my craft room. Mom had given me some of Nanna's old gowns [ok, my sister is about 5'9" and weights about 120 at the MOST so I don't know why Mom thought I would want them! Perhaps for costumes for plays/movies but...who wears a size 2 at age 20+?!?!]. I recalled one of them being "too big for her" which meant it would most likely fit me. How humiliating.

I opened the closet and grabbed a navy dress. Ooops, wrong one. Too silky. Ugh. Definitely one of Nanna's dresses. I searched through the other outfits and finally saw the other navy one. I pulled it out and gave it a once-over. Not bad...

The top of the gown wraps around the neck and so no cleavage/chest area would show. Check. I had a bra that I could strap that way so no one would have to see hot pink straps next to the navy. Check. The gown was navy with a brighter blue glitter. Interesting...I liked it. The back was WAY lower than I normally wear but I'd much rather have a low back than a low top so...I grabbed the dress, stuffed some blue dress shoes in with it and a box [a chocolate box] of jewelry with it and off we went.

My hair is in the Alice Cullen hairstyle, not really on purpose. I just happen to love pixie haircuts. Plus, whatever people may say, Alice Cullen is pretty awesome. So I don't mind.

This is where the Alice Cullen part of this post comes in.

None of Stu's friends have ever seen me with long hair. They've seen me with very short hair, always, after my awkward-teen stage. After the braces. After the horrible glasses. After all the yucky growing-up stuff happened. Stu's friends met me as an adult.

I am prettier now, I think, than I've been since I was 6 [I was a cute little kid. Then I just got awkward looking. I have pictures]. I'm not really too conscious of it because it's a weird, unsettling feeling so I don't dwell on it but...I think Stu's friends think I am good-looking. Or at least, I don't think they think I'm ugly, which is how I felt all the time growing up. I was pretty sure everyone was like "Ew!" every time they saw me. Not a fun way to become a teen.

Anyway, Stu's friends just seem to think I look nice. Which does wonders for my self-esteem, let me tell you. It makes me feel much more confident and open as a person and I was surprised that upon meeting some other friends of Stu's, I had lost all my shyness and, in fact, was talkative, outgoing, interested, and excited about meeting new people. Such a weird thing. Especially in my dress. I felt like a movie star. I had all pearl jewelry, the dress, and high heels...my hair was nice and I had put a teensy bit of makeup on [a touch of foundation...purple eyeshadow and mascara. That's about it.] and it was like...None of these people think I am unbearable to look at.

It was a revolutionary thought. I did feel a little like Alice Cullen.

The reason it's a two-fold meaning is because a) I did FEEL like Alice Cullen because I was in a gorgeous dress and I know I looked at least nice. A beautiful gown that you know looks good on you is a great thing to have. Take note, ladies. :) The second meaning is b) Although I did tell people things about myself...no one there knows me. I'm a stranger, and one who can choose what she tells people, instead of having her looks speak for her [or prevent her from speaking. I had suffered from crippling shyness as a child]. So, people took me at face value. Here is a young married woman who has a beautiful dress, a handsome husband, and looks, actually, quite nice.

Although the reception was ruined for me by my Aunt Flo visiting me and screeching so loud at me that I had to leave...it was a magical night because I realized that although the outward appearance doesn't really matter in the long run [at least, to me]...sometimes it's nice to know that people don't hate having to look at you.

Bringing Home the...Puppy?!

So...we are in talks with someone who found a young beagle and wants to find a home for it. Stu wasn't so excited at first but then I e-mailed the lady and now he's super excited and I'm not. I'm thinking about how we are never going to go anywhere, I'll never have time to sit down in my craft room and just craft/write/whatever, and all the money we'll be spending at the vet and the pet store.

What is wrong with me?? I love dogs, I always have, but another responsibility when I already am getting more at work and trying to keep the house clean seems to much, on top of training a dog and making sure it's fed and watered and well and exercised. Whew. That makes me tired just thinking about it.

The thing is, it wasn't Stu's idea - it was MINE. It was a spur of the moment...action. There wasn't even a thought - I just wrote the lady.

Now, I didn't say we'd take the dog. I am going very slowly on this whole process and we are going to see it next week before we make any decisions. After all, we did find it on Craigslist. :P

I am making a budget, researching prices for a leash, collar, food, etc., and getting recommendations on vets in the area. We're also drawing up a name list. I'm looking up how to house-train a dog, how to makes sure I know it's healthy, and what to feed it based on its size. And etc. We've both grown up with dogs so I'm mostly confident that we'll be alright.

I just...I am finding out more and more that I just want time to myself. I don't want kids, I don't want other people interrupting me, and I don't really want a dog barging into my craft room. Does that make me selfish? I'm thinking maybe.

Anyway...just pray that I regain my sanity and that God shows us the right direction to take with this. I love puppies, I really do, it's weird that I feel this way. I guess I feel like the responsible one and that I have to do all the training because I'm the one that read up on it and I have very strict ideas on how to do it and all that stuff. I just need to calm down and realize that Stu and I BOTH are sharing the responsibility and, probably, Stu will be happy to have a little furbaby in his office while I build my dollhouse.

Doggy names we like so far:

Penny [from Inspector Gadget]
Parker [from Leverage]
Norah [we just like the name]

Names Stu likes:

Hera
Persephone

Names I like:

Luna
Fiona
Starbuck
Dax

Which name do you like best?

Nostalgia, Notes, and Photos

We have finally moved everything out of the trailer and into our new house. Hopefully I'll be a better housekeeper here. :P I've already unpacked quite a few boxes and as I went through some of my old stuff a few days ago, there were a few things I hadn't gone through in...well, probably about 3-4 years. I found:

-old notes from one of my two friends from my senior year in highschool
-photos of my friends in Spain, along with a yearbook from that year
-letters that sustained me through a horrible summer
-photos of me as a happy little girl

As I sat there flipping through all of this stuff, I thought, "I have been loved." It's a new thought for me - I used to feel so unloved, and I still struggle with accepting the fact that some people do, in fact, love me. All these people that I've met, befriended, and loved...and, as life goes, I lost touch with. There were even notes from some of my friends here that have grown distant. I wish we still kept in touch. I love loving people. Learning to be loved is a hard lesson and I don't think it hit me until a few nights ago when I saw myself surrounded by people who wanted to hang out with me, people who wrote in my yearbook about how beautiful my smile was [before braces] and those people who kept my spirits up when I was trapped in a crappy job in a dead town with no one to talk to.

1. I miss the people my friends used to be
2. I miss the person I used to be
3. I want to get back in touch with those who meant the most to me
4. I want to rekindle old friendships
5. I want to make new friends
6. I am learning to be loved

This post is a little incoherent because I feel things rather than think them...but just picture a girl sitting on the floor, sifting through a box of notes and pictures, thinking back to the way things were before and wondering about the possibility of rekindling some of it.

It was a bittersweet evening.

I know Stu has what he calls his "I am loved" box - full of funny drawings, notes, and pictures of people that he's loved and have loved him. I think I'm going to start a "I am loved box" - and make sure that my kids each have one.

Shooting, Moving, Writing

Those three words describe my week in a nutshell.

Bookended by two weekends of shooting/filming, we are moving into our new house while I begin my writing project in an attempt to become world-famous. Just kidding. I just want to write stories and maybe someday get published. :)

Watching someone direct and hearing the actors going over their lines while fixing dinner for everyone...is very cool. I love all of it. I love being on set, I love doing makeup and special FX [putting the fangs on was pretty fun], deciding which clothing the actress should wear and hearing them laugh when they forgot a line...I LOVE this world of film! Plus I saw some footage last night and...it is beautiful. I'm very, very excited about seeing the finished product!

I am also ecstatic about moving. I've thought over where I want to put things, how my craft room [YAY] is going to look, and what I'm going to do on Saturdays while Stu is working. There will definitely be a lot to do these first few weeks and then after that I intend to invite people over every week! There are some people I've wanted to invite over but we did not have a big enough house, hardly any parking, or no food to spare. But now we at least have a house and parking so...hooray for guests! There is something inside me that thrills to cook for and entertain people in my home. It is a delightful occupation that I hope will make people feel welcome and I'm serious when I say that I adore having company and if people are ever bored, I will find something to do at my house! :)

In the midst of these two rather gargantuan projects, I have started a project of my own. I'm auditing the ENG 1110 Class with Mr. Wenger but what I'm really doing is the equivalent of an FDS. I have drawn up a list of 10 children's books and I am going to read them, write a research paper about what each has in common, and then attempt to write my own children's book. I have the first 10 pages but I need someone to push me to finish it and since Mr. Wenger likes children's books, I think it will be a good fit. I am going to edit and revise it next semester in hopes of searching for an agent next summer. I am ready and willing to wait for just the right one and I know it could take years for me to get published, possibly with a different book. For some reason...this choice to write makes sense. I have always had a passion for books, particularly children's books. I read them whenever I can and I also love to introduce people to books I think they will enjoy. I've got lots of ideas so hopefully if I find an agent...I will begin a Non-Corporate Career as a crazy artistic writer. :)

And in the middle of all these exciting things, I will be playing RPG's, building dollhouses, watching movies and t.v. shows, painting/drawing, playing music, and, maybe someday, playing with a new puppy. :)

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams

Wow. I have had some weird dreams the last few nights.

Here are the first 3, from two nights ago:

1. I dreamed I worked at a store called MODE [not Ugly Betty's Fashion mag] at an airport.

2. I dreamed I was living in a big, dark dorm with Laura, Tabby, Melissa, and a girl named Amanda.

3. I dreamed that I was meeting the Obamas [I was dressed in a suit and my hair was in a ponytail] at a function. It was strange.

Last night I had a weird dream and a nightmare.

The weird dream was that I was at Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore's house. I'd heard a rumor that Demi was a lesbian and that she and Kutcher weren't really together. I mentioned this to Kutcher and he was really upset [like sad upset] and I said, "Ashton, I don't think that - I think that if you two are in love then that is wonderful. People don't realize that love means different things to different people, and that everyone needs to be loved." That was the gist of it, and then I went on to say that homosexuals need just as much love as heterosexuals and that it was a shame the way people treated each other, etc. It was a long lecture about love and loving. Very odd. Then he got up and made sure that Demi [who was asleep] was covered up with a blanket. It was sweet.

The nightmare I had was AWFUL. I dreamed I lived in an underground community in the desert because of a zombie virus outbreak [global]. We were playing soccer and getting dinner together and I was worrying about who would get the virus next when I figured out that 2 of the "humans" were actually aliens.

Bits and Pieces

1. I've finished watching all the episodes of seasons 1 & 2 of The Guild. They're only 5-6 minutes long, you can find time to at least watch the Pilot. :)[www.watchtheguild.com]

2. I'm on book 2 of The Dark is Rising series by Susan Cooper. The first book was a bit of a drag for about 60 pages but I powered through and it got VERY interesting after that. The 2nd book started with a bang. It's great so far.

3. I made another 2 minis - a halfling and a half-orc.

4. I've packed up half the house but I ran out of boxes - if you have any extras, please let me have them!

5. vanilla pudding makes a tasty breakfast. Unfortunately, I'm still hungry.

The Guild

If you are a gamer...then this show is for you. Starring Felicia Day [Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog], Written by the same...this show is AWESOME.

The basic storyline follows a "guild" of people who are all comfortable staying at home for days on end...gaming. Something happens and they are thrown together in the real world. Hilarity ensues.

They have a new music video that's pretty hilarious too.

Here's the link for eps: http://www.watchtheguild.com/

I'm on Season 1: Episode 4 [they're about 5 min long].

Let me know what you think. This is courtesy of my friend Rachel who introduced me to The Guild. :)

Fall Frenzy

Yes. These next two weeks will be frenzied. This week is Welcome Week, then we start shooting "Borrowed Life," then Stu starts school, we move, and then finish up filming "Borrowed Life" at the end of August. I am excited that this fall we will be able to live relatively clutter free [since we will have an attic], I will have my own craft room, and that I'm off Fridays and will be doing an FDS with Mr. Wenger!

I am going to attempt to schedule in exercise and music practice as well...I just found out that music practice is categorized as "gentle exercise," and I realized how true this was - holding my arms up for 45 min. - 3 hours has made my upper arms quite large...at least, for a person my size. I have trouble getting shirt sleeves to fit properly. Anyway...I figure if I walk once a week, practice music 3-4 times a week, and do Tae Bo 3-4 times a week, I will get enough exercise to start slimming down. I don't want to lose a lot of weight...but I am right on the point of being obese so I'm going to exercise and try to eat more raw vegetables and fruit. :) Moving into a new house and into a new work schedule will help. :)

I'm working on my poem, still...wrote a verse with no problem this morning...LOL...why can't it always be like that?! :)

I'm super, super, SUPER excited about our D&D 4.0 campaign. I'm playing a half-elf named Andromeda. :)

Anyway...have a great week, everybody!

Poetry is Hard Work

So I've been working on this poem for about...a week and a half now. It's only a draft on FB now so nobody can see it. But here I am, toiling away for an hour, two hours, three hours at a time and...whew. I'm almost sweating with the effort. I know it's going to be better than a lot of my other poetry because I'm spending this much time finding just the right words to say what I want to say. Some days, though, words and rhymes come much faster. I've written and rewritten a lot of this poem, which is unlike me since I usually only write one or two drafts and I'm done [for the bulk of my poetry, anyway]...but I always have a song to work to and it helps the flow.

I can't find a song for this poem. Ergo, I am having to work hard. :P

I find writing poetry interesting. It's not my favorite, but it is a joyful occupation at times. Other times, it helps rid me of pain or hurt and I can move on once I write it down. In any case, poetry is helpful to me and I enjoy very much trying to find rhyming words. I wanted to talk a little bit about how I write poetry in hopes that other poets/poetesses will dialogue with me about the way they go about it.

1. I see or hear something that sparks an idea - it's usually a song, but can sometimes be a book, another poem, a painting, a picture, or a piece of clothing [like the one I'm working on now - it all started because of a gorgeous 1490's Italian Renaissance gown on Etsy.com]

2. I write down the immediate rhymes that come to mind - this is the easy part. Some things just fall into place and I scribble it down on a piece of paper somewhere. Sometimes the verses don't really go in a linear direction but that's where I spend some time re-writing.

3. I have to start with an outline if I'm going to finish the poem - My father instilled in me the need to write an outline every time I started writing something. Whether it's a poem, a paper, or a manuscript, I HAVE to start with an outline. Braintstorming and lists are also involved.

4. I try to connect the rhymes I have and write in the other verses using the outline. This is where the most time is spent, agonizing over using "Dark despair" or "cold despair" - which one sounds better and works for the poem?

5. Polish - This is the 2nd thing that takes the most time. I re-read my poem over and over, sometimes becoming so unsatisfied that I try to start over. Other times, I realize I did my best and I change one or two things and then finish it.

Everyone's got a different writing style. I only write tragic or goofy poetry, and I don't spend a whole lot of time on each poem - except in rare cases, like this one. I can sort of "see" my "author voice" coming out in one or two poems, and you can tell who my influences are, though hopefully it's not obvious and I don't sound exactly like them. Emily Dickinson is my favorite poet of all, though I enjoy Robert Frost, e e cummings, William Carlos Williams, Robert Browning, his wife Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Alfred, Lord Tennyson, and Percy Shelley, among others.

I do enjoy memorizing poetry, from time to time, and I have memorized bits and pieces from Emily Dickinson, Alfred, Lord Tennyson, and Robert Frost. And also a poem by William Carlos Williams.

Who do you enjoy? Do you write poetry? [let's see some!] What does your writing process look like?

On Being a Wanderer

As you might be able to tell from my Facebook status, I've read The Host [by Stephenie Meyers] for the third time and it has struck me again with how...how complex this arrangement of soul and body is.

I'm not going to defend Stephenie Meyers against all the people who haven't read or read and disliked her books. All that I'm going to say is that she is a YOUNG author and needs to be given time to grow into her voice and talents. She's definitely got a way with words and if she continues writing has the potential to go far. The Host is her best work and if you haven't read it, please do. I am interested in your thoughts.

I think I love The Host so much because I identify with the main characters. I won't write any spoilers so you're free to continue on [unless you're bored, of course, in which case, go to www.notalwaysright.com and laugh a little].

The difference between soul and body didn't really make a lot of sense to me until I heard C.S. Lewis's quote, "You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." I realized I hadn't made that connection. Living in a physical world, I of course concentrated on my physical surroundings and my physical part of my being [female, short, big nose, green eyes, brown hair, etc.].

EXCEPT as a child, I knew there was something else. A glimpse or flash would appear every so often to remind me that this was not my final destination. As if it were a secret, I kept those feelings to myself. Sometimes I felt ageless, as if my soul was very old. Other times, I thought about how part of me would never die. And sometimes, I thought about what it felt like to be placed in a body, and how my body was not a part of the immortal me.

As I grew up I forgot about that, until seeing C.S. Lewis's quote and reading The Host. It opened up my eyes and I realized how much I forget that I am not this body. This body was given to me; I had a responsibility to care for it...but it was not me, and not who I am. The soul inside me is who I really am and, instead of caring so much about the outside, I should be concerned with what is inside.

It's weird, being 2 things. A mix of physical and intangible, complex and simple, mortal and immortal. It's odd.

I want to be more concerned about my soul than my physical body. I want to take care of my physical body. I want to be a complete unit but know that there is a difference between the part of me that will deteriorate when I leave and the part of me that will live forever.

God is a very creative and imaginative individual.

10 TV Shows I'll Be Watching This Fall

[some of these are seasons we've bought that are no longer on Television. They will be marked with a *]

1. Leverage - Season 2 [already here - available on Netflix]

2. Psych - Season 4 [Ep. 1 is on Hulu!]

3. Chuck - Season 3 [Might be the last we see of Chuck...SADLY]

4. X-Files* - Seasons 3-?

5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer* - Seasons 4-7

6. Castle - Season 1 [watching on Hulu]

7. Ugly Betty - Season 4 [This fall]

8. The Office - Season...5? 6?

9. Project Runway - Season 5 or 6 - IF I CAN FIND IT ONLINE

10. Arrested Development* - Seasons 1-3

New Haircut!

Yep! I got a haircut at 11:20 this morning!! I have QUITE short hair now and I LOVE IT!!! It is sort of like a character's I played in a D&D campaign...LOL...now I just need to dye it white...JUST KIDDING. Although now I think I might like to dye it a subtle red or maybe just the fringes. We'll see. It's the first time I've ever had my hair razored. Pretty awesome.

I don't have any pictures up yet but when I get some I'll post 'em. :)

Other than that...I don't have much to report. Just same old work stuff...and hopefully we'll be moving soon. Although I'm not looking forward to packing. I've half-packed 2 boxes and categorized in my head what we need to do and where we need to start. :P No fun.

I've realized how much I enjoy spending time by myself. I've been able to spend a few hours alone recently and, if I have something to do [do dollhouse stuff, sculpt Warhammer figurines, or reading], music to listen to, and a chore list, I am quite content. Although I am VERY happy when Stu comes home! Too much alone time and I start to get antsy. :)

I got another childrens' fantasy series - the Dark is Rising series by Susan Cooper [5 books], based on Arthurian mythology. It should be interesting. But I have an idea it won't be as wonderful as the Prydain Chronicles, which I found, to my surprise, that I want to read again! I miss all the characters...especially [to my surprise] Gurgi. Go and read them, you'll understand what I'm talking about. :)

I've made two Warhammer figurines in the last 3 days - a female dwarf and a female human or elf [I have yet to put on the ears]. I'm getting much better at sculpting faces and I even put eyes in the sockets of these two. I still have to do that for my elf.

Haha, not much to report...sigh...I think too much.

Hope you all are happy and well and perhaps sometime next month those of you who live nearby can come see us in our new and lovely house! :) For those of you who live farther away...now we have a place for guests...:)

Thoughts About Writing

Just a sort of processing post...

1. I REALLY want to take the English FDS with Mr. Wenger. I'm trying to come up with a plan in case I can't do a regular FDS...as in, I'll sign up for a regular English class from Dr. Wenger and turn in my own assignments. I just need something to push me to finish "Violet's Monster" because I won't do it by myself.

2. I'm learning more about myself, as a reader/writer. I love childrens' fiction. It is by far my favorite genre and most often what I am reading. Romance, Non-fiction, Christian, Information, etc., never held any interest for me. I do read Classics, Westerns, Mysteries, Sci-fi/Fantasy, but most often I read books meant for people well below my age. There is something fascinating about those worlds I've explored. One of the things I have learned about myself is that I truly love reading. I mean, I knew I liked reading, but not being able to read for pleasure until recently has made me aware that I would MUCH rather spend time reading than anything else.

3. I've also discovered that I could possibly enjoy a career as a writer. It's far enough away from Corporate America that I could keep my own hours, work a part-time job, pursue hobbies, and still make a little money. :P I do like the idea of writing. I've been writing since 6th grade. I've written poetry, short stories, beginnings of novels [yes, I have yet to finish a novel], and I've got several ideas written down all over notebooks, cards, envelopes, napkins, and bulletins that show I definitely have enough material to be a writer. I just need to figure out how I, as a writer, work. How many words can I write in a day without burning out? Am I the kind that re-writes and re-writes and re-writes, or am I the kind that edits along the way and have few revisions to make at the end? [I know of 2 authors who are like the examples I've given]

4. I have been wondering what my author voice/style is. You could give me a book without the author's name and, granted that I'd read them before, I could probably hazard a good guess as to who it was based on the author voice. No one else besides Natalie Babbitt would write this line: "Nevertheless, the people who lived there were extremely proud of the mountains, for they were the only point of interest in a countryside that neither rolled nor dipped but lay as flat as if it had been knocked unconscious." [Kneeknock Rise] I'm interested to see who I am as a writer. It will be an interesting journey to discovery.

5. The more I think about it, the more excited I am about writing. Mr. Wenger was VERY excited and it always helps to have someone that you know and trust who is excited about what you are doing. That's the way Dr. Dan always was about whatever I wanted to do and it boosted my self-esteem and confidence much more than any other childhood authority figure ever did.

6. One of the reasons I want to write is because there aren't a lot of stories available to me that I want to read [I STILL don't have a library card. SIGH.] - so I'll write stories like what I want to read.

7. The other reason is that I love making up stories. In my head, on paper, on screen, on stage...I am in love with story-telling. The art of it is so...beautiful.

Suggestions, Please

I'm trying to work out an FDS to take so I can remain at CIU and be a student worker in Academic Services. I want to do something that will be productive, something I can send out at the end...a manuscript. [It sounds thrilling, doesn't it?]

Here's the basic idea of the FDS I want to take:

1. Read 10 children's books of a similar vein [award-winning, old favorites, fiction, fantasy, 3-6th grade, light-hearted but dealing with deep issues]

2. Write a paper comparing them and pick out certain themes and plot points that are the same.

3. Write a manuscript [working title: Violet's Monster] to submit.

I just have too many favorite children's books. Would you suggest some?

Here are some of my ideas:

1. The Lion, The Witch, & the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
2. A Wrinkle in Time - Madeleine L'Engle
3. Frindle - Andrew Clements
4. The Mona Lisa Mystery - Pat Hutchins
5. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - Ian Fleming
6. No Flying In The House - Betty Brock
7. The Light Princess - George MacDonald
8. The Search for Delicious by Natalie Babbitt
9. The Puppy Sister by S.E. Hinton
10. Howl's Moving Castle by Dianna Wynne Jones
11. The Wolves of Willoughby Chase - Joan Aiken

The problem is, the only ones I can think of that have the same feel as "Violet's Monster" are the following:

1. No Flying in the House - Betty Brock
2. The Search for Delicious - Natalie Babbitt
3. Frindle - Andrew Clements

So...I need 7 more. Ideas? What did you enjoy as a child?