So...Kaitlin had a bit of a meltdown on Saturday. I have revelations about myself very rarely, but since I had not slept the night before and I hadn't eaten in 24 hours [not by choice, I will explain!], I went a little...ballistic. :P Again...poor Stu!
We picked up the puppy Friday night. She liked riding in the car, and we started playing with her new toy...we walked her around and a friend came over. Apparently she's a people doggy. Except I don't know that she likes darker people. :/ Anyway, we put a cushion by my side of the bed and taught her not to get on the bed. [I much prefer this method of training...no violence, only rewards for good behavior] She slept through most of the night and then took another nap while we slept until 9.
Stu had to work that day so I trained the puppy all morning and then put her in the HUGE pen [it's seriously 10X20, it's enormous] and...she hated it. Barked and barked for HOURS until I started reading "Captain Hook," which promptly made her go to sleep. Silly dog.
Exhausted and starving, I had no choice but to watch her because the pen isn't 100% secure and she found a way to get off her lead line/out of her harness. When Stu got home around 6 I was in tears and hating the little puppy's guts. I wandered around outside with her and begged Stu to get a kennel.
This is actually kinda funny now but then I was suffering from hunger pangs and extreme exhaustion so everything was heightened and a little dramatic. And then it hit me why I was so upset that I hadn't been able to have any me time:
I have always had to care for something other than myself. When my brother died, I had to "take care" of my parents, as well as a 2 year old could. When I had siblings, I helped take care of them, even getting up in the night with my youngest brother [which is why, to this day, he will choose to be with me rather than anyone else]. I've had to care for pets too, even if they weren't mine, and when I got to school, I cared for people who took advantage of me [none of the present company, I promise!] and it wore me out.
I was tired of caring for others. I've become selfish and more introverted than before. This explains a lot of my behavior for the past year and a half...I wanted to be alone and enjoy my own time, which isn't a bad thing, but sometimes to the exclusion of everyone else, which can be a bad thing. I was unhealthy, and uncaring about others.
I see what Gina meant when she said it might be a good thing for introverted people to have pets. It brings out the better side of us. "I want to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am" is a very popular quote for doggy owners. It holds true for me. Although I can't say I adore Parker Posey...she's a cute little dog. Very smart. Easy to train...and I'm on my way to loving her.
Meanwhile I am working on my selfishness while also establishing time for just me, to make sure that I can be by myself to relax and then go and take care of whoever needs taking care of.
Pets can teach you a lot. I hope to be an excellent student.
I go through this with Schnapps, who is more difficult to train than your puppy (I love the name, btw!). There are times when I'm like, "Ah, what is wrong with you, can't you just learn, must I spend all this time with you, I already worked so hard today, why do you keep biting my ankles, I'm replacing you with a pug!" When I first got him he felt like an intruder in our home. I still wander if we should've gone with a chill older cat, but hindsight is 20/20. By April he should chill out, as he'll be year old then.
ReplyDeleteBut then there are the moments when we cuddle and play that are really tender and sweet and I wouldn't trade him for anything and I've learned a lot about myself, especially for selecting a cat in the future.
-Gina
Yup. Animals are good teachers. :P Whether they are good pets is another thing!!!! Haha. I love Schnapps...I did think when I was taking care of Parker on Saturday "WHY DIDN'T WE GET A CAT?!?!?!"
ReplyDeleteGlad we can talk about these things, Gina. :) Just think...one day we'll be talking about our kids like this!!!!
"WHY DID I NOT GIVE THEM TO THE ZOO?!?!?!" hahaha...ok, maybe that doesn't make sense...there's a kid's book about a mom who sometimes wishes she could give her child to the zoo...in a loving sort of way, of course. :)
Anyway. Thanks for reading and commenting. :)
I always read your blog. :-)
ReplyDeleteBtw, I've been reading descriptions of library science classes, and when I read the ones about youth services I think about you and your love of children's books. You'd be an excellent children's librarian or children's book store owner.
-Gina
I would love to be involved in library work somehow. I prefer the arts but that is something you don't get paid a lot for unless you're a giant in the industry. So it's something I could do on the side while working a fun job like a librarian. :) That's something to look into...
ReplyDeleteThanks again, Gina!
PS...we really have to hang out. About every other day I'm like "I want to hang out with Gina." :)