Nightmare

Had a horrible dream last night -- not sure what brought it on.

I dreamed I was in a long, narrow house that I've never been in before. I had a shared bedroom with someone I have not seen in years. (I was friends with her older sister) I was making the bed when I realized that there was broken bits of chalk and other items under my pillow, and under hers as well. I panicked and thought that she was doing some kind of demonic ritual. (There were underlying hints of danger and evil throughout the dream) I rushed to my family but they paid me no mind (as per my usual dreams with them) but Stu was very concerned and told me it was a particularly strong brand of dark magic. I swept the chalk and bits of stuff off the bed and put my pillow like it had been, hoping whatever spell was cast would not work now. There was an old church at the end of the house so I sat in one of the back pews, hoping the girl wouldn't notice what I'd done.

I went back to my room later and again cleared things out from under my pillow, and then hid to watch what she would do. She stuck two shiny, sharp sewing pins into my pillow and was attempting to do voodoo, but since I'd cleared the chalk out, the spell wasn't working.

I woke up and stayed up for hours with aching legs (which I assume I have because I walked to the lake and back yesterday with no arch support in my boots) and I haven't been able to shake off the uneasiness quite yet.

...I hate these dreams.

Dying Dreams

Along with the elation of finishing a third NaNo came the realization that I don't believe I'm a writer. I have stuck with it for a long time (off and on) and I have come to the conclusion that it isn't something I am (and I could be wrong, but for now it's what I am considering). I do believe that I'm artistic and that something in me is trying to get out. I just haven't found the right medium yet, or spent enough time with one or several to see what it actually is.

I don't think I'll stop doing ScriptFrenzy and NaNoWriMo. I think it is a good exercise and might actually help me in my creative process. But for now I'm going to let writing drop and see what happens.

I've been thinking seriously about this for a while. It has crept in between sleepful nights (now that I'm juicing/exercising), happy moments (Thanksgiving, watching a new TV show, and singing), and exercise.

I just don't think I'm cut out for it.

But I can't give you a definitive answer as to WHAT I'm cut out for. That remains to be seen. And while it's frustrating that I've abandoned yet one more thing, it is becoming plainer and plainer that there is one thing that stands above all the other things I've tried to do with my life.

I'm pressing forward in the Aspirant process to become an Anglican Deaconess. It might be that the doors close. It might be that I should be concentrating more on my spiritual life than other facets of living. But when I strip everything away from myself, that Anglican Deaconess role stands like the Mirror of Erised in my soul, and I know that's what I should be focusing on. At least for now.

While it is sad to say goodbye to another thing, I'm not wringing my hands and depressed about it. Merely calm and a little relieved.

Maybe I was just trying too hard.

For now, I'm closing the curtain on that supposed part of my life and hoping that one day I'll know why I spent so much time trying so hard doing something I was just forcing myself to do.



That being said, I have had a lovely holiday week. Thanksgiving was, in all aspects, completely perfect. Stu's parents and aunt, my grandparents, parents, and brothers all met in Due West, S.C. for a day full of turkey, ham, casseroles, homemade fudge and sweet tea. Everyone gathered around two tables (that were sort of put together) and talked -- Grandpa with Stu's dad (same age, same occupations), Aunt Teresa with Grandma (same interest in medications, doctors, emergency rooms, and operations), Stu with his Mother, my parents with everyone, and me and my brothers. Everyone got along beautifully, laughing, trading stories, eating, and then some of us took a walk to get the Fall Photo Shoot that we do every year.

It was one of just two Thanksgivings I've had that have made me feel like I'm really experiencing Thanksgiving. Family coming together, no fighting or ill feeling, and a bountiful display of food. And lovely, lovely weather.

We drove to Due West and then to Charleston and then home. Even though I was sick, I managed to watch three great shows that I must now add to my collection of TV series to buy/watch: Big Bang Theory (sort of like Friends for our rather more nerdy generation?), Community (a show entirely its own...with characters you can't help but like but are deeply flawed, nonetheless), and New Girl (a quirky, optimistic view of how the world is, full of cute outfits, singing, and silly situations).

New Girl is wonderful - it's exactly the type of spunky, happy sunshine that I need right now, with a healthy dose of sad situations to make it bittersweet. I love Zooey Deschanel and I'm quite excited to see how it all plays out. This is its first season and I am anxiously awaiting tonight's episode!

(I also got Stu hooked on it so we're more likely to stay home on Tuesdays to watch it -- Muaha!)

And now, back to Kaitlin's "Blue Period" in journaling today:

There have been a lot of realizations lately. They never come at me one at a time, they kind of just tumble over in a pile all over me and I have to sort them out one by one like Christmas ornaments.

Realizations:

1. Whatever I am going to do with my life, I'll have to do it alone.
2. I have a difficult time trusting people.
3. I do things for people in hopes that they'll want to spend time with me one day.
4. By throwing myself into the same situation again and again, I never give my wounds time to scar over. It takes me a long time to heal.
5. I despise, above all else, someone who cannot respect or think of other people. ...Why am I constantly surrounded by these individuals?
6. I am big on manners. Apparently most people are not. (Or at least, not to the degree I take them)

Whew. That's a lot to handle.

I was thinking about what I wanted to do with my life (picturing myself being interviewed by Conan, which is a daydream I often go to when I have nothing else to occupy me) and I realized that no matter how much I love being with people and creating with them, it's not going to happen. I can't force it, and I've tried for years. Whatever it is I'm meant to do will have to be done by myself. I can't make anyone come with me.

Because of situations that are currently happening and have happened in the past, I don't trust people. It is beyond impossible for me to completely let down my guard with anyone. I'm not even getting better at it. I'm better at pretending that I have nothing to hide.

There's a situation I'm currently dealing with that I've never had to deal with before, and I don't know how to handle it except pretend nothing's happened. The other person is completely oblivious (for all intents and purposes) and we are no longer the bosom friends I thought we were. I don't know what I did (although I have a shrewd guess) and now I get to see them every week and pretend that I'm happy they chose other people to be friends with. Plainly put, it sucks. I have a knack for finding people who are about to collapse into a pit of despair, and then pull them out, only to have them push me in when they leave. So either something's wrong with me, or I should be a counselor. Usually when this happens, it's about time for my family to pick up and move. Not this time. I am forced, weekly, to endure the searing pain of being ignored, forgotten, moved on from.

I have a friend in a similar boat, and comparing notes, they mentioned that they needed time away to heal. Unfortunately, I have a commitment to the place and can't leave, for now. So how do grown-ups deal with this unfortunate mess? Apparently, no one knows.

I'm really not sad. I've been juicing and exercising (took a one week break for the holidays) and I feel so much better. I have more consistent sleep and better food, which ups my mood, and I can tell I'm losing weight (not too much, but just under my chin and in my fingers). I've been married three years now and honestly, it just keeps getting better. (Even while we get poorer and poorer - haha!) I have had a great year with family interactions, which are much more positive than they usually are (am I growing up, perhaps?), and I have done several new things, thanks to Pinterest. I've also found 1 video game that I like and a bunch of new music, movies and TV.

So really, I'm happy. There are so many things that I could be depressed about but having a loving husband who likes goofiness and simple food, and participating in a class that could potentially lead to a vocation are two of three anchors in my life. The other anchor really is having a church where I can worship in a way that is tangible to me, and being able to read the Bible in a way that makes sense to me (I am eternally grateful, Eugene Peterson).

Those three things are worth any amount of horribleness I have to endure.

And now, to something I truly do love: Voice Lessons.

Juicing: Day 18

Today's Juice:

3 Roma Apples

3 Clementines

1/3 sweet potato

2 c. kale

2 1/2 stalks celery

5 medium carrots

Vague tastes of citrus and sweetness. Not the best, but not bitter like the last few days. I think the Clementine pulp ended up in the juice, which is probably why I don't tend to juice citrus.

Today will potentially be full of work - cleaning the kitchen/bathroom before we leave tomorrow, taking the trash, packing, and possibly re-organizing the living room. We'll see how energetic I am. I'm also hoping to take a jog to The Pointe and write a few thousand words.

Juicing: Day 17

Today's juice:

1/5 bunch kale
4 carrots
2 Roma apples
1 Honey Crisp apple

MUCH better. And apple-y tasting. I made another strawberry smoothie for lunch. And I'll have leftovers for dinner.

More about our church service yesterday:

Our new church building is, in a word, spectacular. But it isn't spectacular in the gaudy, showy sense; there's a quiet, under-played dramatic beauty to it. I think it is a fantastic mix of traditional (the nave is in the shape of a cross) and post-modern (pipes, brick floor, & dark wood against the white walls). I LOVE it. It makes me want to go in there and just sit, or kneel and pray.

We processed into the church (always fun), consecrating different elements inside (like the organ!). Then we had our first church service in the new building, complete with kneeling during the prayer and kneeling during communion and the new choir robes! (Well, cassock & whatever the other thing is called. I'm not a good Anglican yet!)

There was a catered barbecue meal afterwards (we are Southern Anglicans, after all), and then we went home, but we came back for an amazing concert with The Sea Wolf Mutiny & Bill Mallonee and Muriah Rose. It was the perfect, mellow, heartfelt ending to the day.

And now, to Thanksgiving:

We leave on Wednesday to go to Due West to help my mom cook. Stu's parents and my grandparents arrive on Thursday and then we all leave on Friday.

I have mixed feelings. My brother called me yesterday to discuss books - the new Eragon book (Inheritance), The Hunger Games trilogy (which he'd just finished), and any other books we were reading (Dickens came up - he tried reading David Copperfield and finally gave up after having to keep an outline. We both love Oliver Twist, however). We got onto the topic of the worst kinds of villainy (per The Hunger Games) and I mentioned that there was a series with an overarching villain who was bad but then the worst kind of villain is the one that is a person who thinks they're doing the right thing but is actually the cruelest, by-the-book sort of individual that you'd ever want to smack.

And then I told him it was the Harry Potter series.

I just can't give it up. I KNOW he would love them and it bugs me that he just repeats whatever he has heard. "They're full of witchcraft." "They're evil." Seriously. So. Annoying. And perhaps I'm annoying him by bringing it up every time we talk about books, but it really hurts me that they refuse to share in that part of my life, especially since it has been so life-altering for me in a spiritual and emotional sense.

SIGH. At least I have one sibling excited to see the last movie. And I'm going to attempt to bring the first one. You know. Just in case.

Juicing: Day 16

Today's juice:

1/4 bunch kale

3 carrots

3 apples

Time to change it up -- we need something else to juice. Someone suggested beets, cilantro/herb salad mix, and some fruit (which sounds like something I would drink but Stu wouldn't), so I might try that next time I go shopping.

Do you have any good juicing/smoothie recipes?

I think I'll keep trying to add in some cucumber and celery...I just can't stand that strong kale in the background...ugh.

Today I also tried baked "fried" chicken (which did not work - the batter just wouldn't stick and wasn't brown and crunchy, even though the chicken was done), but I didn't have any milk to soak the chicken in, so when we have milk again I'll try it again.

I also made potatoes (boiled them and then broke them up into bits instead of mashing them) and chicken gravy, and I ate green beans and beets with my dinner.

For lunch we ate at our new church building (which is gorgeous!!! Wish we'd had our camera...), and I was surprised to plug it into SparkPeople and find that it did not contain as much fat as I thought.

Tomorrow we go back to two juices a day and then on Thursday we'll probably do a big lunch and then leftovers for dinner. I'm learning portion control and that I really, really don't need to eat two helpings because I'll only regret it later when my tummy hurts.

No exercise today (except for going up and down our stairs) but I plan to jog/walk tomorrow.

Juicing: Day 15

Today's juice:

1/4 bunch kale

3 carrots

1/2 cucumber

3 apples

Stu said his tasted like apples...mine did NOT. There was a bit too much kale in mine so I guess I didn't mix it properly after juicing. Urgh. BUT we drank our juice today and had a healthy brunch: omelettes.

I've been needing to eat more protein so I fried some ham and tomatoes next to my bell pepper/scrambled eggs & cheese concoction. So good. But that paired with the juice meant we were extremely full, so it looks like we're just eating two meals today.

I tried making kale/carrot "crackers" (even wrote down the recipe) but it looks too much like elephant poo. Seriously. So I'll try it but the smell made me slightly nauseated.

Tonight I'm making potato soup with my own recipe -- I love it because of the secret ingredient: chicken broth.

Here's the (loose) recipe:

6-8 potatoes (basically, 1 potato = 1 serving)

1 can chicken broth (I might half that)

1/3 c. half & half (might up it to 1/2 c.)

onion salt

pepper

(suggestions: rosemary, thyme, celery salt or garlic)

Peel/slice potatoes. Boil until soft. Drain some of the water and then mash the potatoes until you've got a soupy mashed potato mess. Put on low and add broth and half&half. Sprinkle with spices and let simmer for 1/2 hour, roughly.

cheese and/or bacon go on top (we don't have any bacon so I'm eating mine with cheese) after it is ready.

I might also make croutons:

3 slices bread

enough olive oil to dip each piece in

garlic, onion salt, & thyme

Cut bread into cubes and dip in olive oil before putting on cooking sheet. Bake at 350 until brown.

(These can be saved in the refrigerator for a week - They're great on salads too)

I took my first serious jog/walk today. I mapped it out and it is over a mile, very hilly, and I had to take a few minutes here and there to catch my breath. I did stretches beforehand (5 minutes) so I didn't curl up and die like I thought I might. :D I also drank two servings of water afterward.

And now, back to work - I've got dinner to cook and a few thousand works I want to write, plus some harp music to practice.

Juicing: Day 14

Well, I realized that we didn't have anything to sweeten the juice this morning, so Stu is just skipping breakfast. Today is Burger Day in the caf so he's eating that for lunch. We were hoping to cash a check and juice for dinner, but I don't think we'll make it in time.

I ate an onion bagel for breakfast, but I did make my regular smoothie for lunch and some air-popped corn for a snack.

Tonight I'm probably going to eat one of my freezer meals, which I did last night - it worked beautifully. (The squash, onions & mushroom mix) I seasoned it with pepper, onion salt, garlic, & thyme. Too much garlic, but it's ok...garlic is good for me, right??

I might make couscous to go with it tonight.

This is good prep for next week, though. We are taking our juicer to my mom's but we will also be eating Thanksgiving dinner. So we need to eat a couple good meals here and there so we're not horribly sick next week. :P

Sparkpeople.com is really helpful for me during this process -- although apparently today I'm way below what I should be eating in every aspect. :/ I may have to eat a few eggs or a potato or something to get enough calories -- I'm under 1000 today which is NOT good. It's nice that I can see what I need so that I won't feel bad about eating a few more bites of something.

It also keeps track of my water - I'm averaging about 24oz/day right now. I know, not great. I'll keep working on it.

I'm walking more and keeping track of it as well. So that's a bonus.

I need some quiet time though - I'm taking some vacation days next week but that's really going to get taken up by family stuff. Hopefully I'll have some of the weekend to recuperate before Finals Season gets going.

I need to do some serious thinking and praying about the Aspirant process and my continuing saga of finding a mentor (something I've been thinking about/praying about for...let's see...almost a year??). I have someone in mind but they're incredibly busy and I'm not sure I should add one more thing to their plate.

The other thing I need to think about is what I am doing with my life right now. Should I learn some monologues and audition for a play? Should I try to find some free dance things to attend? Should I concentrate on trying to get something published in the next few years?

Who knows.

But for now, I'm enjoying NaNoWriMo and eating healthy. Baby steps.

Juicing: Day 13

Today's juice:

2 carrots
1/8 bunch kale
1 Honey Crisp apple
2/3 can pineapple

We're getting low on supplies - I've got a little kale, celery and carrots left. We'll have to go shopping tomorrow.

Today's juice went over well with Stu (yesterday's juice was 'the wrong kind of sweet'...not sure what he meant by that!), so that's a recipe to keep (although I'll add more kale next time).

Stu's eating a tuna sandwich for lunch today and I have a smoothie again - strawberries, non-fat vanilla yogurt, oats and ice.

The coconut milk smoothie did not taste great -- but I think that's because our tiny work fridge does not keep things extremely cold (also I should have blended longer)...

I put in all that I ate yesterday on Sparkpeople.com and it seems I am doing really well in staying around 1,400 calories but I'm a bit low on protein (so I ate some chicken and a bit of beef last night).

Tonight I'm fixing the squash, onions & mushroom mix again. And I'm eating a snack mix I made (the popcorn/nuts that I didn't eat yesterday) later this afternoon.

I also drank 4 servings of water yesterday...or 32 oz. I can really only drink 36 oz. I've tried drinking 64 and my stomach HURTS. It's too tiny to hold all that water (even over the entire day). (Not that it's REALLY tiny but all that liquid really causes stomach agony).

Last night I saw the inside of our new church building for the first time.

Impressions:

-postmodern yet similar to Greek Orthodox sanctuary
-ORGAN!!!
-black & white lines
-roomy
-confusing to navigate (I'm horrible at navigating two floors, apparently)
-gorgeous wood-floor foyer
-PRAYER BENCHES!!!
-Huge, wide windows

I love, love, love it. So happy! Can't wait for Sunday!!!

Juicing: Day 12

Today's juice:

3 carrots
3 stalks celery
1 Honey Crisp apple
1 small bunch grapes

+ some leftover juice from yesterday.

I made a smoothie for myself for dinner:

1/3 c. coconut milk
1 c. strawberries
1/4 c. oats
3 rings of pineapple

For a snack, I popped some corn (in a regular brown paper bag! In the microwave!) and added some mixed nuts. I accidentally melted a few holes in the plastic bag b/c of the hot kernels. Ooops. :/

For lunch, I am allowing myself to eat in the cafeteria, since we got a few free meals from the PineView Apartment office. (It's Thanksgiving meal today) I am still planning on eating healthy - I might eat some meat for protein.

I also joined Sparkpeople.com to track my eating and fitness habits. I've routed my walk to and from work (a little over half a mile, burning 66 calories a day) and the walk to the lake and back ( a little over a mile). There are also fitness programs available, so I'm going to attempt going to the gym one time a week and upping it to 3x by spring.

I am sleeping so much better. It's incredible. And even though my house is driving me crazy (it's halfway clean most of the time), I do have more energy.

Last night's dinner (for me) was scrumptious.

Here's what I did:

sauteed squash & mushrooms (added the chopped pepper/mushroom/onion mix left over from omelettes) in olive oil with a dash of pepper, onion salt, and garlic/herb breadcrumbs.

It was AMAZINGLY delicious. I had a few bites of Stu's porkchops too. (I baked them in the oven with pepper, onion salt & garlic)

We are probably going to stay at 2 juices a day for a while (financial reasons) but if we start exercising regularly we should still lose weight - just more slowly. Which might be better.

I've been having an artistic crisis again (what AM I?? Actress? Dancer? Writer? Artist? Am I good? Can I do that? Do I need further schooling? How can I do it on a daily basis? Am I really one of these? If not, what do I do with my life???) so I've been wondering if I'm just a hobbyist or someone who could do something artistic professionally...sigh. It's not as serious as it was before (I think I'm in a better mental state due to change of dietary habits), but it's still something I think about a lot. No answers, just lots of questions.

It's Morgan's birthday again and while I'm not as sad as I usually am, it's still upsetting to think he'd be 22 this year -- we'd go out to dinner and maybe watch a movie and maybe he'd even live near me.

But then I think about my other brothers and I'm not so sure I'd want crazy hormonal males living near me. All my food would be gone (that was a joke) and I'd have to listen to and watch the mistakes they've made. I don't think I could bear it if Morgan turned out like them. And I secretly think we'd be closer than any of my other siblings.

But if Morgan had lived, we wouldn't have had any other siblings.

It's difficult to deal with that sometimes. I'm grateful for the siblings I have, but I always wonder what it would have been like with the two of us. We were so close when I was little. What would it have been like to have someone so close in age, who (hopefully) understood me more than my parents?

I miss you, little buddy. I can't wait to catch up one day.

Juicing: Day 11

Woke up extra early to get all the juicing done for the morning.

Breakfast Juice:

1/5 bunch kale
4 carrots
1 HoneyCrisp apple
1 small bunch of grapes

Veeery sweet juice.

I made another strawberry/oatmeal smoothie (with some yogurt for protein) for lunch, but Stu will be eating a sandwich.

Tonight Stu will have juice for dinner, but I might be eating one of the freezer meals I put up - sauteed squash, onions and mushrooms. And maybe some Couscous. Yummy!

We'll be going to three juices/smoothies a day sometime later this week.

I'm a little concerned that if I have hypothyroidism (which I'm pretty sure I have - I have all the symptoms, including the fact that my body temperature is always below 98 degrees - it's somewhere around 96), I won't be losing weight. So I need to go to the free clinic and get some bloodwork done. If I do have it, I will be taking dessicated thyroid (cow or pig thyroid), which is the standard procedure. I might look into natural things as well. Is it bad to hope that somehow juicing will jumpstart my thyroid again? (Or is that possible?)

I have noticed my hair getting longer (huzzah!), and my skin not breaking out as much. And I think I've lost a tiny bit of weight. Not sure yet -- I'll have to weigh myself at the gym.

Juicing: Day 10

Today's juice:

1/3 bunch kale

2 carrots

1/4 pkg. grapes

2 apples

Not the most appealing color, but it tasted good! I think we're going to drink juice for lunch too.

Juicing: Day 9

Today's juice:

1/2 carton spinach

3 carrots

1/3 cucumber

3 apples

This juice gives me a lot of energy - possibly because of the carrots. Score!

Juicing: Day 8

Today's juice is probably my favorite so far:

1/2 carton spinach

1/3 of a cucumber

3 apples

There's just a *hint* of cucumber, and the drink is a pretty green color. It's sweet, and I saved the pulp (the least amount of pulp we've had) for some crackers or bread to make later in the week.

I organized the closet last night but hardly got anything done today because of allergies (because of cleaning out the closet...SIGH). The winter clothes got put away too, so it's officially fall!

I cleaned the kitchen today and am cooking beans on the stove for chili tonight. Since Stu wanted ground chicken in it, I'm eating an herb salad (spinach, lettuce, cilantro, and a few other types of leaf) with organic tomato soup. Mmmm!

I still need to write and practice music, so I guess I better go do one of those now...

I shelled some peas and put up a quart in the freezer, and I also sliced up our strawberries and froze about 2 1/2 quarts. I am loving the freezing thing. Hopefully next week we'll be able to put up more since our Co-Op is getting fresh, organic produce (all the greens are organic!!).

I am noticing that we both feel better and are less tired, although we do get hungry around 3. I've been eating a few crackers and dip, or veggie sticks and Stu will eat a piece of fruit, so we are working on choosing healthier alternatives.

The other thing I've noticed is that we don't pick up sweets at the store any more. Stu wanted a Kit-Kat today but refrained, and we didn't buy chips or soda either. My body doesn't seem to want 'fake' sweets or meat right now, and hardly any carbs - I eat a few crackers and I'm good.

It's been nice to see our eating habits change while slowly going toward a mostly/all juice diet (for the next few months). I'm hoping this is a continuing trend.

Juicing: Day 7, Writing, & Etc.

Today I tried to make a smoothie out of the pulp from the juicer. It was like eating watery baby food. Ugh. Gonna have to find another use for it, I just can't stomach it.

So, I made two glasses of juice for Stu, and 1 smoothie for me. I'm eating a salad for lunch, and probably another omelette for dinner.

I can tell I've lost weight in some places - my fingers (I can wear one ring on my middle finger, where before I've had to wear it on my right 4th finger because my middle fingers are too big), under my chin, and my stomach. I'm not sure how much I lost, but I weighed 157 at the beginning of this so I guess I better go to the gym and weigh sometime this weekend or early next week.

My target weight is 130-135 - with my medium frame and height, that's my ideal weight according to several sources (BMI, health magazines, online sources). I also want to tone what I have, so I am still working on an exercise plan.

I found a core strengthening exercise using some equipment we have at the gym so I may try to do that this weekend.

If I can clean my house first.

Today's juice:

2 carrots
4 apples
1/2 carton spinach
leftover juice from yesterday

I made a banana-strawberry smoothie with yogurt & oats again. So good.

I am feeling a lot better - despite my going to bed late, I have a LOT of energy (which is bad since I'm in the office all day - I feel like running, which has never happened in my LIFE), my eyes are waaaay less tired, and I am HAPPY. It's weird. I'm usually pretty even on the emotions scale, but this is a more happy than usual...I think it's because I feel good - less aches and pains, more consistent sleep and better food work wonders!

Looking forward to week 2, which we'll try to start tomorrow - I'll be going to 2 juices a day, and near the end of next week, we might try 3.

I am attempting to reach 20k (starting at 17k) today for NaNoWriMo - I'm almost to 18k so I'm hoping to finish out before lunch.

I've got a lot to accomplish this weekend. Here is what I want done:

1. Clean the house - kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, laundry
2. Re-organize furniture - living room, bedroom
3. Re-organize closet (bathroom)
4. Put summer clothes away and make room for winter clothes
5. Practice voice/harp
6. Write 5k by Monday
7. Go to the thrift store and (hopefully) purchase 2 chairs for our desks
8. Exercise 2x
9. Snap some pictures of the gorgeous fall colors
10. Finish off the alterations on my new skirts

If I have this much energy tomorrow and Monday, I might get all this done and more!

Juicing: Day 6

Today we are switching over to juice as two meals a day. I didn't have enough time to prepare everything so I might be eating carrots and celery with honey mustard dip for lunch...

Today's juice:

1/3 bunch kale
3 carrots
4 apples

I made two servings for Stu, and I made myself a fruit smoothie:

1 banana
1 c. strawberries
1 c. ice
1/2 c. yogurt
1/4 c. oats

I then discovered that I could use the pulp that came out of the juice to make smoothies - just mix in some water/ice! So, now we can use all of it instead of pouring the pulp down the drain, which has made me sad every time I had to do it! So tomorrow I will be going to two "smoothies"/day while Stu drinks the juice. Perfecto!

We also made a really healthy dinner last night:

Omelettes!

I cut up a bell pepper so that I had a 1/2 inch "cookie cutter" slice...then I poured my egg into it and cooked it sunny side up. I added chopped mushrooms, green onions and bell pepper, plus a sprinkling of cheddar cheese, pepper, and onion salt. Stu had a regular cheese and ham omelette, so it wasn't as healthy but it's healthier than what we usually eat for dinner.

Then...I pulled a Slytherin and made Vegan Brownies. I did NOT tell Stu what was in them and he ate two. ...am I a bad person? Stu, if you're reading this, I just wanted to try the recipe, I didn't expect you to eat (or like) some. I'm glad you liked it, and I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. Don't be mad. Please?

Here's the brownie recipe:

1 15oz. can of black beans
1/4 c. honey
2 bananas
1/4 c. instant oats
1 pkg. hot chocolate mix (I added this in for sweetness)
1 tsp. vanilla (next time I'll up it to 1 1/2)
1 tbsp. cinnamon (next time I'll make it a 1/2...I don't much care for cinnamon)
1/3 c. unsweetened cocoa

Combine all ingredients EXCEPT oats in processor and blend until smooth. Once smooth, add in oats and put in greased 8 X 8 pan. Bake for 25-30 minutes (the recipe said 30 but mine only took 22) at 350. You'll know it's done once you stick something in the middle and it comes out clean.

They are really fudgy brownies (my personal favorite) but they do NOT taste like out-of-the-box brownies...they taste rich and cinnamony (hence the more vanilla next time). However, they were really good and we ate them with just the tiniest bit of powdered sugar, and a 1/2 c. of strawberries each.

That dinner filled me up, which was surprising, but nice. That's three recipes I found on Pinterest that, with a few tweaks, turned out pretty good. Yay!

I can tell I've lost weight in my face, but I need to exercise to tone while I lose...still looking through things to see what will work best. I'm thinking a mix of walking and Tae-Bo. What I'd really love is to swim 3x a week and walk a few miles 2x a week. I'm definitely going hiking this weekend so that will be 1x.

Also, I am going to bed around 11 now and sleeping mostly through the night (only waking up once the past two nights) and then getting up at 6:45. O.o (It helps that it's light out!) Crazy.

I'm behind on my NaNoWriMo since yesterday was nuts but I'm hoping to catch up today. We moved some furniture around last night so I need to finish that up as well but the house is a mess and stressing me out.

Can anyone balance health/cleanliness/work/play???????????????

Juicing: Day 5 & New Sewing Projects...?

It's day 5 of juicing and I am on an almost-all raw diet. I get up easier in the mornings, and I have more energy, but I'm still a little tired, although I'm sleeping almost all the way through the night now.

Today's juice was:

1/2 carton organic spinach
1/2 carton strawberries
4 carrots
3 apples

It was, again, really fruity and really tasty, though not like the apple-tasting juice we had yesterday.

We are going to two juices/day (breakfast/lunch) either tomorrow or Friday, and then after a week of that we'll try going all three meals...

I can tell I've already lost some weight in my face, and my clothes are a bit bigger...time to find an exercise routine so I can tone. This weekend I'll probably go hiking (Saturday) and maybe a few brisk walks (Sunday/Monday). Time to get out the camera, as well, so we can a) document our juicing and b) take some pretty fall photos!

I found a new project I want to do that will be easy for my beginner sewing skills...someone made a Harry Potter Quilt Bag...I know the rudiments of quilting, embroidery and sewing so I feel up to the challenge. Now to figure out what I want all the patches to be!!

I'm also still going to be working on the skirts...I need to get my iron from a friend's house so I can iron the front crease and then I need to make the ruffles and sew them on, but that's easy peasy. And then hopefully the skirt will come together and I can make the two others. I'll be going through my wardrobe to make a pile of fabric for other clothes as I lose weight...I am going to have to alter some of clothes. Yay sewing projects!

Haven't written any of my NaNoWriMo today but I'm hoping to do that this afternoon when it's less busy in the office. I might just put my novel on a thumbdrive and take it home to write on my computer.

...Still need to practice harp, but voice is going well - I've got one song done (and in repertoire), and one almost done, and a new one (ITALIAN ARIA!!!!!)...yaaaaay! I love voice.

I'm also praying about and thinking about the Aspirant process and how to do all of that in the midst of attempting to keep a clean house (failing this week), getting healthier physically, and taking time to work on things I enjoy. WHEW.

Also, I'm looking forward to the holidays because...the Harry Potter extended editions will run on ABC around Christmas, as they usually do. Exciting!!!

Hope everyone else has a little less busy month than I am....thank goodness I get most of Thanksgiving week off!

Juicing: Day 4

Today's juice: Smashing Success!

Here's the recipe:

1/3 bunch kale
4 handfuls of carrots
1/2 c. pineapple
4 apples

It tastes exactly like apple juice, so Stu drank it down really quick! I am transitioning to raw food + juice, so yesterday I had juice, a salad for lunch (with tomatoes, carrots, & peanuts), and steamed veggies for dinner (with garlic, onion salt, and pepper).

Today I had juice for breakfast, and I'll have steamed veggies for lunch along with a piece of fruit, and then I'll probably have a plate of raw veggies for dinner - we got green beans, carrots, and more spinach yesterday.

I'm also preparing to freeze, for the first time. We have a big bag of green beans that I need to put up, as well as strawberries. Woohoo! Although if I had canning equipment, I'd put up the beans in mason jars.

My mom always canned apple-pie-in-a-jar (delicious in or without a crust), green beans, salsa, pickles, peaches, applesauce, and apple butter. I aspire to some of this one day.

We did have to laugh when she heard I was juicing - I'm becoming more and more like her, which tickles us both, since I was so like my father growing up. It's weird to see how much you are like your parents, while at the same time soooooo different in a lot of ways.

I'm 13k into my novel for NaNoWriMo (goal today: hit 15k), and it's going pretty smoothly, although I already have a list of things I want to go back and fix. But, it's a first draft. Time for that in January after I've had a break.

Pottermore is back up (they took the site down for three days for technical maintenance), and I FINALLY was able to get through chapter 16 into the last chapter of the first book. All of us are waiting for the Chamber of Secrets to open - most of us hope that it includes a chance to play Quidditch, or to find out what our Patronuses are, or new potion/spellbooks. We are still waiting for Wizard Duel to open back up, so for now I'm just brewing a couple potions a day for house points, since poor HufflePuff always lags behind! But since we're not too competitive as a house, we're not too concerned. ;)

It's very interesting to see the personalities play out - for the most part, everyone is perfectly sorted and it is strange to see everything play out just like you'd expect it too - for example, the Slytherins found a way to cheat at potions, and the HufflePuffs were in an uproar because cheating is not allowed, even in games! We decided we wouldn't be joining in the cheating (but not all Slytherins are bad! Some of our friends are in that house) and continue to toil away for hours to make two good potions.

This is the first online gaming experience I've ever had, and so far, it's a lot of fun.

Juicing: Day 3 and Sewing Projects

Today's juice:

1/2 bunch kale

1 can mandarin oranges

4 carrots

1 lemon

1/2 cucumber

Not as fruity today, and it took Stu a while to drink it, but he did! I think pineapple and apples will factor largely in our juicing regimen.

We did get more produce from the Co-Op today: 2 containers of organic spinach, 1 bag of carrots, 1 bag of green beans, 1 carton of strawberries, and a bag of mixed veggies that I will sautee with garlic and leeks tonight for dinner.

I found a tutorial to alter some shorts I had that were too big in to a nice, dressy, ruffly skirt. I cut up one pair of shorts to test and am stuck because I don't have enough fabric for a ruffle. So now I've got to figure out if I want to put a different fabric on as a ruffle or if I want to alternate white with something else. We'll see. Meanwhile, I've got a khaki and a black pair of shorts that I would love to make into skirts.

There's also a puffy quilt tutorial that looks so easy that I am dying to try it, but I don't have any polyfiber to stuff it with...so I'm going to be searching for some of that at the next craft store I go to.

All this sewing is taking some time away from writing, but I'm still ahead and writing around 2,000 words a day and I'm just getting to the exciting part!

This is why Autumn is the best - I feel good, there's plenty to do, and most of it's fun!

Juicing, NaNoWriMo, & Craft Projects

Today we made another great juice -- we took out the banana and added half a cucumber.

I think I want to try mixing kale, cucumber, and lemon, but I might need to add something more (10 leaves of kale, 1 cucumber, 1/2 a lemon?)...we'll see. I will probably do that tomorrow.

In other news, I'm at 10k for National Novel Writing Month and this is the first project where I've had to adjust back to reality after finishing up a chapter. There's a character I'm interested in exploring who just popped up randomly and apparently quite different from what I was originally planning. Yay for serendipitous surprises?

Also, I got out my sewing machine to sew a couple of covers for our new electronics. And then I sewed up a tie for a cute little phone bag. I need to finish all of them, though...trying to figure out how I want to fasten them.

So...I should go write my 2k words that I didn't write earlier...

Peace.

Juicing: Day 1

Stu and I have decided that we will ease into the juice fast by incorporating 1 juice for one meal for the next few days, and then go to two meals, and then to all three. If we need protein, I'm sticking to beans and rice, or eggs, and Stu might eat 1 piece of meat a day.

Koinonia Co-Op had baby organic spinach and bags of baby carrots, so we added that to our purchase of apples (from Hendersonville, N.C.), lemons, fresh pineapple, bananas, another bag of carrots, kale, and cherry tomatoes (or grape tomatoes? I forget).

Today I made a juice consisting of:

4 handfuls of baby carrots

2 handfuls of spinach

1 handful of tomatoes

1 handful of fresh pineapple chunks

3 apples

1 banana

It was GREAT. A pale orange color, it tasted like a regular apple/pineapple juice.

Stu was really happy and I am very pleased with the results. Hopefully this (along with an exercise plan) will jumpstart some weight loss for both of us, and give us more energy to work on our various projects (Me: NaNoWriMo, a song for a wedding, & voice; Stu: screenplay and music video).

A positive start works wonders.