Nostalgia, Notes, and Photos

We have finally moved everything out of the trailer and into our new house. Hopefully I'll be a better housekeeper here. :P I've already unpacked quite a few boxes and as I went through some of my old stuff a few days ago, there were a few things I hadn't gone through in...well, probably about 3-4 years. I found:

-old notes from one of my two friends from my senior year in highschool
-photos of my friends in Spain, along with a yearbook from that year
-letters that sustained me through a horrible summer
-photos of me as a happy little girl

As I sat there flipping through all of this stuff, I thought, "I have been loved." It's a new thought for me - I used to feel so unloved, and I still struggle with accepting the fact that some people do, in fact, love me. All these people that I've met, befriended, and loved...and, as life goes, I lost touch with. There were even notes from some of my friends here that have grown distant. I wish we still kept in touch. I love loving people. Learning to be loved is a hard lesson and I don't think it hit me until a few nights ago when I saw myself surrounded by people who wanted to hang out with me, people who wrote in my yearbook about how beautiful my smile was [before braces] and those people who kept my spirits up when I was trapped in a crappy job in a dead town with no one to talk to.

1. I miss the people my friends used to be
2. I miss the person I used to be
3. I want to get back in touch with those who meant the most to me
4. I want to rekindle old friendships
5. I want to make new friends
6. I am learning to be loved

This post is a little incoherent because I feel things rather than think them...but just picture a girl sitting on the floor, sifting through a box of notes and pictures, thinking back to the way things were before and wondering about the possibility of rekindling some of it.

It was a bittersweet evening.

I know Stu has what he calls his "I am loved" box - full of funny drawings, notes, and pictures of people that he's loved and have loved him. I think I'm going to start a "I am loved box" - and make sure that my kids each have one.