Embarrassed

Well, I know what to write about for the HighLights Contest now.

I made the simple mistake of not warming up before last night's concert.

The rest of the performers were marvelous.

I managed to bungle every single piece I was in, even the easy 1-page arpeggio run.

I was also too quiet so no one heard me, which I guess is a blessing.

The choir director wouldn't even look at me afterwards. :/

The scary part is, I don't even remember playing after the first page on the second song. I draw a complete blank.

It's not like I was nervous. I was totally confident that I would do a good job. But somehow I didn't remember (amidst all the tuning and running over my second piece) to play a few chords and warm up my fingers, which had not touched the harp since Monday.

So I made a complete idiot of myself and was happy to escape into the night and sorrowfully try to put my puzzle together.

I can blame this or that if I want to, but it really all boils down to my not having it all together and arriving late and not doing my warm ups.

But it's too late now for wishes and it's over and I'll probably never be asked to perform in a school performance again, which I guess is something of a relief since this stressed me out so much in the first place.

...but it would have been beautiful.

I think that's what's bothering me.