Art As Healer

I started thinking a while ago about becoming an art therapist so I could help people.  I like helping people.  I like comforting and being comforted -- not with words, but with hugs, with holding hands, with long, comfortable silences and walking and taking photos and doing something creative.  I like being hospitable and being comforting -- I like feeding people, listening, providing the materials to heal.  I think I like it so much because it is something I want from others.

I need to be comforted.  There's a lot in my life that has healed crooked.

I've slowly started collecting materials and ideas and thoughts about what a weekend art-therapy retreat would look like.  Would it cover a specific subject (Grief?  Depression?  Anxiety?), or would it just be an inclusive "everybody-brings-something-to-the-table" (my inclination)?

I don't know why I keep thinking about it, but something in my brain knows I need this.  Even if no one else is interested, this is a weekend I need to take.  I need to get away and create so that I can get whatever this stuff is out of my head and onto something else.

Because I don't process in my head.  I just repeat the situation again and again, trying to figure out what should have happened.  What could have happened.  What should I have said?  How could it have been made better?  What did I actually want to say, later?  It is a vicious, vicious cycle and I catch myself in it all the time.  Situations from years ago make me cringe, and I can't sleep and I have dreams and it never, ever resolves.

I don't know how to process and lay things to rest.  Unless I draw a comic about it, create a collage, or think up photography shoots that attempt to express...what?

That's why I started a "Art Therapy" board on Pinterest.  There isn't much on the web, unfortunately, with a lot of helpful info (at least that I can find), but there are some great books I will be getting from the library.

I want to help people.  But I think this is a case of figuring out how to help myself (since there's not an art therapist for adults here in Columbia -- another reason to think of getting a degree) first -- because how can I help someone else through grief or depression if I haven't found a way out yet?