Trust

I was doing some thinking (Which I do too much of) lately and I realized that it terrifies me to think of going up on stage and doing auditions. What if people say I'm no good? What if I don't get any parts? What if I just keep auditioning forever and no one sees my potential? Should I go back to school? Should I do summer workshops? Can I actually do this?

Of course, the one question that's easily answered is: "Do I want to do this?" Yes. Yes, with all of my being, I want to tell stories communally, on the silver screen, on a stage, in a webseries, wherever.

I want to do this.

So why am I so terrified? Is this where my insecurity meets trusting God? Is this what it is really supposed to be - taking a leap of faith and trusting that He has a plan? Because what I'm doing right now is not scary. And maybe we'd have more communication if I had to rely on Him more.

My problem of trusting is in no way resolved, but it's interesting to wonder whether this is more how life is supposed to be.