Upset

Things had been going smoothly with my family. I'd talked to my mom on and off for a few weeks now and everything's been great. We've had fun catching up and planning what we'll do when they're down here, and I was really looking forward to having them stay with us.

Not anymore.

And it isn't even my mom's fault this time.

The little brother that I had helped raise, the one who I thought would understand me, the one I thought would always love me, has turned into the nastiest, cruelest, most uncaring creature.

I'm trying to convince myself that it's just hormones, he's 12, he's trying to find his place in the family system, and I'm sure that is part of it.

But part of it is, nobody told him that he needed to be kind. No one stopped him when he was younger to tell him he couldn't do or say mean things because he could hurt other people. We just laughed and thought it was funny.

And now we're paying for it.

Beside the skinning squirrels and having a biology lesson (which I can put down as curiosity and science), there was the hate speech about my sister (who he likened to 'trash'), my brother, and my likes/dislikes. We had a heated debate about books which really wasn't too bad (except that he just repeats what other people say about books I love, and adores books that are complete...poopy), but then he proceeded to try to impress me with how strong he is and how he could knock down anybody in a fight. I reassured him that I was still wider and stronger and that I could take him (I was saying this in an older sister, ha-ha sort of way), but then he told me he'd beat me up when he saw me.

Since when has it been ok for boys or men to threaten beating?

I got off the phone shortly thereafter and have been a wreck ever since. I've cried and cried and I had to tell my friend that came over that I'd been in a fight with my brother, lest she think Stu and I had been in an argument.

I am wounded to the very core. I wrote mother a long note and told her that someone needed to take him to task for how unkind and hateful he is, before it's too late.

I'm afraid of another family drama, but honestly, if he comes down here with that attitude, I'm liable to smack his face off.

What happened to that sweet little boy that wanted me to read to him while he sat in my lap?

What horrible things has someone done to him, or what horrid things has he been doing to others?

I can't even begin to imagine.