Slow Processor

First of all, I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have my birthday off and spend some time ALONE. I have been getting more and more stressed as my 40 hr/wk job continues week after week, and even though I love it, I have definitely started noticing that I needed a break. To get away from it all. To step away from people for a while and take a deep breath of fresh air.

I spent half the day in bed, partially because I have been getting sick (wheezing, runny nose, bleary eyes, fever) and needed to rest, but partially because it was my birthday and I could afford to sleep in until 3 if I wanted to. It was blissful!

Then I made some chicken corn chowder, ate it, and headed off to the library. While this may seem unusual for someone wanting alone time, the library is full of people I don't know and therefore don't have to interact with. Again, peaceful. I spent hours perusing the bookshelves, finally taking home about 15 books on dollhouses, fashion, cartooning, and some fantasy books. Ahhhh...

A visit to Olive Garden was in order since we had a gift card (Thanks, Rachel!), and I was able to get my favorite birthday treat of all - cheesecake! Olive Garden has amazing white chocolate raspberry cheesecake, and we were able to eat in comfort while the storm raged outside and the power flickered inside, to the consternation of the wait staff.

We were going to go to a movie, but of course my luck ran out after dinner. The two movies I wanted to see at the $2 theater were the only ones not showing b/c of technical difficulties. Figures.

So then I went home. Stu left to hang out with a friend, leaving me to soak in the introversion time that I had needed for months.

I must spend more time alone. It bothers me that I need so much of it now, but it's probably because I'm at work all the time. If I don't get my alone time, I can't process, and if I can't process, I have very, very crazy emotions, and when that happens, I turn into She-Hulk. So I'm grateful I had the day off and away from everyone, mostly to prevent a drama of epic proportions!

Sadly, another day off is not in sight, at least until Thanksgiving. Our weeknights and weekends, though spent with friends who are lovely to spend time with...it's busy and still affords no introversion time. I guess I should practice some meditation techniques so next time I have this problem I won't rip someone's head off. :/

And yes, the title of this post has a point. I am a very slow processor, emotionally. It takes me a long time to sort out my emotions, which is one of the reasons I keep my Secrets book. It's a great way for me to process, especially if I don't have a lot of time to myself. Other ways that I process are scrapbooking, listening to music, or watching a movie that matches my emotional tone. (If I need to cry, I watch Phantom of the Opera, Beauty & the Beast, or a Pixar movie; if I need to rid myself of anger, I watch Enough or some equally violent film; if I'm sad but don't feel like crying, I watch a Jane Austen movie or Buffy) These things take time too, so in order for me to process...well it just boils down to the fact that I need to schedule introversion time.

Oh, for the days when I'll be barefoot on the deck, swinging in my hammock while I listen to the birds as I think about what costumes I'll be designing for a TV show. :P