I want you to be the last thing I see

I had a horrible nightmare this morning.

I woke up at 6 something and rolled over to try to go back to sleep. I should have gotten up.

I dreamed that my city was hiding a bunch of Jews from the Nazis but someone tipped them off and they came and found them and rounded them up to take them to a prison camp. There was an old Jewish couple staying with us and all the Jews and those who had been taking care of them were threatened with worse than the prison camp if they didn't go. The Nazis were going to use some bio-weapon on the whole city if there wasn't cooperation. So the people went - but not before they corralled me and made me go too. They rounded up the young people and made them work in the prison camp, although their living quarters were in a different area and they were treated simply as workers. I had to help the old Jewish couple and so I lived in the prison camp as a prisoner. I couldn't tell people where I was going or what I was doing, and the horrible thing was that at the prison camp, they were going to release the bioweapon - so everyone would lose their eyesight. I started thinking about seeing things for the last time. My family...my city...comic books...but when I thought of seeing Stu for the last time, my whole body shook with suppressed grief and I wept and wept. It was awful. I went to the prison camp and at one point was with a bunch of the young workers and I was angry that no one knew how bad the situation was and I yelled, "I'M IN THE PRISON CAMP, I'M LIVING IN THE PRISON CAMP!!!" meaning that I was going to lose my eyesight. The workers stared at me and the camp director whisked me off (it was C.J. from the West Wing) and started asking me questions and was upset when I told her my dad and Stu didn't know where I was, just mom - and it seemed as if there were more to her than met the eye and that she wanted to help...but then I woke up.

I am so thankful for the gift of seeing. I love colors and I love seeing my husband's face. I think we take eyesight for granted most of the time. This just reminded me how precious it is.

Well, that's it for now. I may post some poetry later.