Last night I spent 6-9 in auditions. O.o
I drank a ton of water over the weekend (mostly on Monday) and sang my heart out whilst tidying up the house. I made faces in the mirror and picked out the perfect audition ensemble (black pencil skirt with a ruffly edge, a red top, wide belt, heels that can dance, and my lucky red earrings my sister sent me from France). I put my audition piece in a black notebook and made dozens of notes to myself about how much more work I need to do before I audition outside CIU (memorize classical/modern monologues, more songs, beef up my resume and look into acting classes around town).
The day of, butterflies settled in my tummy and I tried to distract myself with my Kindle, episodes of Parks & Rec and errands -- mostly grocery shopping. I came home and sang (poor Stu has had to hear my warm-ups all weekend. He's a darling.) and then put on my makeup -- I've decided that since I have a natural blush (something akin to rosacea, but whatever) and my skin is mostly clear I won't use foundation. So it's just eye makeup for me -- a tiny cat eye, eyeliner, and dark grey to silver eyeshadow. And then some lipstick -- one dark coat and one shimmery coat.
Then it was time to audition.
I was the first one there -- I always am. I have to go early and pick a seat and try to calm down. I saw the end of the dance routine they were going to teach us (terrifying) and then a bunch of people came clumping down the stairs, and I thought, "Oh, dear. I guess I can still try out for a chorus part..." There were probably twenty of us -- most of us female. Which is great unless you want one of the three main girl parts. Which...I did.
So I shrank into my seat and blushed madly when Patti introduced me as staff. I hate that I didn't get into acting earlier. And I hate that I'm the only staff who tries out for these and I hope the freshmen don't think it's weird. (I know a lot of the older students so it isn't as awkward) I mean -- would you like an interloper intruding on your auditions? Someone who's older and maybe has a little more experience? Am I a big fish in a little pond? (I don't think so -- we have some incredible talent here)
We got our jitters out (mostly) while we filled out the audition sheets (Contact Info, Experience, Roles Preferred, Etc.) and then we all trooped into the choir room to learn our dance routine.
It was set to the finale of Hairspray and wasn't horribly complicated -- but that thirty seconds seemed to go on forever. We walked through it slowly, bit by bit, until it was all strung together like a very fragile garland. Then we went over it and over, and over, and over, and over. I think we must have done it fifty times and we had worked up a sweat by the time they split us into groups of five to go in to the auditions.
The five girls in my group ranged from people just trying out for the heck of it (which is always fun) and people who have dreamed of doing more professional work -- I think someone in my group might get the part of Sally -- I hope they do because they were fantastic. I auditioned fourth out of five.
We each got up on stage and sang our song -- I did the last part of "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from Phantom of the Opera. I was really shaky (my body shakes when I sing. Doesn't really do that for harp or acting so I guess once I've been doing it longer my body will freaking STOP trying to sabotage me) but I think I did alright...I'm pretty sure I hit all the notes. Then I read two monologues (one for Lucy, one for Sally). We had received the monologues earlier and had time to practice before going in, but I got aggravated once I realized I was playing Sally like a lawyer (her bit about the "coathanger sculpture"). We all were whispering since we were crowded together in one hall so I didn't get to practice a voice. I think I had more fun with Sally's monologue but it didn't fit me as well as Lucy's -- hers was muuuch easier for me to sink into.
After we had all done our songs and monologues we got up together and performed the dance, pretending we were singing and actually in Hairspray. I will admit the dance was a) fun to learn and b) way fun to perform. I love dance. (And who doesn't like being a little dramatic now and again? That's what I love about dance. No talking involved. Your body does all the talking for you and you can be as melodramatic as you want)
We were ushered out and assured that the callbacks would be posted by ten. I was desperate to get to a friend's dinner (they knew I was in auditions but we were expecting it to be over at 7...I got out at 8ish) so I texted Stu to come pick me up but then while I was waiting the director got me and asked me to hang around and read for Snoopy. I got another monologue to read and was asked to sing an alto piece (I'd sung a soprano one earlier). So, I brought out an old jazz piece I'd done for voice lessons last year ("They Can't Take That Away From Me") and did my best to be Snoopy.
Finally, we arrived at our friend's house for the pep talk of the century (unplanned). Stu was so fired up he's been writing most of the day (or trying to) and I've been looking into acting schools here. All in prep for moving to a more film-centric area. At some point. But while we're here, we might as well START doing what we want to do...right?
Anyway. After the pep talk (and delicious turkey burgers) we came back so I could check the callback list -- and I was shocked to see myself on the callback list for Lucy! I don't know if anyone else read for Snoopy so I'm hoping if I don't get Lucy I'll get Snoopy. Five or six of us will be competing for the Lucy role tonight at 5:45 and I'm already trembling. We're going to be singing a song from You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown -- "Little Known Facts". It's a really fun song and I hope, I really, really hope I get the part. I'll probably be in the chorus if I don't make it, which is fine, but...is it bad to want one of the main roles? I love the part and I can't help but think it would be a great addition to my resume, along with my role as Aunt Martha if I can say I've had experience playing more prominent roles.
I know the theatre crowd wants to do a Shakespeare next semester so I'm going to try out for that as well -- but I'm also looking into acting intensives for the summer. I think it would be marvelous if I could do three plays (in whatever acting capacity), take an intensive, and then maybe audition around town...just to see...
Further dreaming entails registering at a local school and taking acting courses. Whether degree-seeking or no (I don't know if I have to have an acting undergrad to get an acting M.F.A. which is the end goal for me at the moment), we'll have to find out.
And then...if I can have three plays, an intensive and at least part of a degree by the time we decide to move somewhere...where will that lead me? UCLA (which I've already drooled over this morning)? Biola (undergrad in theatre)? Somewhere else I haven't found yet?
Questions always come to the forefront when I think about acting. What kind of things am I going to have to avoid? What am I comfortable doing? What am I not comfortable doing? What if I take a course and have to do something I am not comfortable with to pass the course? Where does that leave me? And how comfortable is the husband with all of this?
This is where I always get stuck. If I do theatre, there will always be the element of freewill -- I can choose which roles/plays to audition for. I can decide what I want to do and what I do not want to do. (And to some extent, that works for movies as well) But for TV, which is where my deepest desire leads me...if I have a long-running character, things are going to pop up. And I will have to fight. And I don't know if (legally, spiritually, physically) that's even possible. So...I guess I will have to have either a stellar agent who gets me or...maybe God will put me in a show that doesn't deal with a lot of that. Or He'll move me to something better when the inevitable arises. (I'm not saying this because I think I'm a romantic comedy or romance type. I'm not. I'm more the lawyer/crazy aunt/loner artist type. Action Adventure/Thriller Suspense/Indie movie-ish person. I'd probably start out on a crime show or something)
I have discovered one thing: I like writing, but it doesn't call me like acting does. I am a communal being and my deepest desire is to tell story communally. Acting is communal and writing is solitary (or usually is) and without that communal element, I'm just not as interested. If I could write for TV, or have a writing partner (or partners) that would be different. But it usually isn't and so...if I had to choose which one to have a career with...
I'd choose acting.
And I've never been able to articulate that before.
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