Part of Your World

Weddings always make me have weird thoughts. They're always nice. But because I get bored with the pomp and circumstance, I think about things and observe people and have an interesting time considering other things besides matrimony.

I was watching the rehearsal for the wedding this weekend and thought about the cookie cutter lives most of the people seemed to lead. They were all members of a prosperous Baptist church; They all had at least some money; and all the women had the Southern, tanned, almost-tailored outfit look.

The tweenies that were in the youth choir were separated into two cliques, one led by a slim blonde (comprised of 2 more slim girls) and the other made up of two heavier brunettes. There was a tall, thin blonde boy (the only one in the choir) and he decided to sit between the two cliques and attend to one of the heavier brunettes, who wasn't really heavy, she was just already curvy and stocky. Seeing the tweens up there made me so glad I was over that stage before I had time to do something stupid. I never really was a tween, being a loner until the age of 13.

I panic when I think of having to be someone who grew up in a school setting, dated, went to college, graduated, got married, settled down, had kids, and was like everyone else. I just...can't stand the thought of being normal. Ordinary. Boring.

I know it's ridiculous - no one of us is alike, we all have our own joys and sorrows and all are at least a bit different from the rest...but it seems like there are so many who just grow up and leave their dreams behind.

Although I never liked Disney's "The Little Mermaid" (the witch is MUCH too scary for me), I have always identified with Ariel when she sings the song "Part of Your World." Even at the age of six, I knew that longing. I longed for something different, something more real than the cookie cutters we're shoved into by society. I have always tried to be different.

I shudder to think that people in the cookie cutter lives don't realize what they're missing. Where is the beauty of magic, of nature, of the imagination? Where is art, truth, wonder? People just grow up and settle.

I am re-discovering my wonder and embracing it. I won't care if people think I'm weird for loving the oddities in life. I just...want a real experience out of life. I want to be on a deeper level. I want to go through the Shadow Lands, to know they are just shadows, and reach the other, real side.

Anyway...that's the kind of stuff I think about at wedding rehearsals. I guess they're pretty boring.

I did think of some stuff to put into my "Gentleman & the Lady" story and I am pleased with how it's progressing. Things are falling into place and I'm discovering loads about how the universe is and what the characters will do...and, I am sad to say, how some of them die. It's really tragic, but I hope it's beautiful too. I'm going to start work on the first part of the story this summer. Although I want it to be an animated film or live-action TV show, I'm going to write it as a series of novels first because it will be hard to market this kind of story, I think.

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend and I am going to attempt to relax this week. Attempt. I've got some cool projects to start working on (including a shirt I designed for myself!) so...I'll have something to do.

Love to all.